Magic Knights/Twisted 2
by Uncle Elmo
Summary: Read this totally insane Sequel to the original Twisted Series, a FF/Chrono Trigger Crossover co written with Chibi-chan- sadly unfinished


Note: Ooooooooh noooooooooo! Not again!  
  
1 Magic Knights…?/Twisted 2  
  
1.1 Trouble in Time  
  
1.2 Prologue: It Starts!  
  
FIVE WEEKS EARTH TIME AFTER THE END OF THE LAST ADVENTURE…  
  
1.2.1  
  
1.2.2 Five hours Cephiro time…  
  
1.2.2.1 *Third floor of the Citadel…*  
  
1.2.2.2 Marle: \I'm bored!\  
  
Crono: \Huzzah! I get to drop that stupid "Za" from my name!\  
  
Lucca and Marle: \Shush!\  
  
Crono: Aw, you guys are no fun!  
  
Lucca: Crono! You can't speak English here!  
  
Crono: ……… *Translation: Bite me*  
  
Lucca: Don't you have Marle to do that?  
  
Marle: HEY!! What kinda girl do you think I am?!?  
  
Crono: Ha, ha.  
  
Marle: CRONO!  
  
Crono: Sorry.  
  
Marle: Apology accepted. Now what do we do?  
  
Lucca: So glad you asked. My friend, Emma, helped me come up with this! *Presents to them a remote control-like gadget*  
  
Marle: What does it do? Give us free cable?  
  
Lucca: Nope! It'll let us go through time, space, and dimensions.  
  
Marle: So… we can get free cable?  
  
Lucca: *Sweatdrop* No, it won't get us free cable. We can enter other people's dimensions and see history in the making!  
  
Marle: Kewl! ^_^  
  
Lucca: You bet it is!  
  
Crono: But couldn't we mess things up if we go into other dimensions?  
  
Lucca: Aw, how much trouble can we get into?  
  
Crono: *Sweatdrop* ……… (Doesn't she ever learn? She forgot what happened when we played around in our own dimension…)  
  
Lucca: Yo, Crono! Ya comin' or not?  
  
Crono: Do I have a choice?  
  
Marle: Nope! *Lucca pushes a button on the remote and all three of them disappear with an audible "ping!"*  
  
One day, Ivalice time…  
  
*Somewhere unknown in Ivalice…*  
  
Rini: *Singing* Vacation, gotta get away!  
  
Misa: Boy, are you cheerful today!  
  
Rini: After wandering through time and space for so long without so much as a day off, why shouldn't I be cheerful when I get one whole month off! And since Ivalice isn't a technologically advanced place, the bosses won't be able to find me!  
  
Pansy: YAY!! *Chanting* Vacation! Vacation! Vacation!  
  
Misa: Cram it, kid.  
  
Pansy: Bite me. =p  
  
Rini: *Singing again* Vacation, gotta get away!  
  
*Wherever they were at the end of "Magic Knights…?", early morning*  
  
1.2.2.3 Ramza: *ahem* You have been doing what with my sister?  
  
Mustadio: ………  
  
Alma: I wanted to say something earlier, but he was afraid you'd take it badly.  
  
Mustadio: *Sweatdrop* Please don't kill me!  
  
Ramza: I will make no such promise- *He disappears. A flash of blue light, and Ivalice is now in ruins*  
  
1.2.3 One week, um, FF7 time…  
  
1.2.3.1 Aeris: Ta, Cloud! I'm off to find that Earth boy again!  
  
Cloud: Oh, okay- WHAT?!?  
  
Tifa; Bye, Cloud, I'm going out with Reeve.  
  
Cloud: Oh- WHAT?!? Why? Where? How?  
  
Cid, Sephiroth, Cait Sith, and Yuffie: Ha, ha!  
  
Cloud: Shut up- *A flash of green light, and no living beings exist on the planet…*  
  
1.2.4 Five weeks, Filgaia time…  
  
*Milama…*  
  
Jack: *Attempting to play "One Week" on his guitar; singing slightly off- key* It's been one week since you looked at me, waved your hands in the air and said-  
  
Rudy: Shut up, Jack.  
  
Jack: Why should I?  
  
Cecilia: Please don't start fighting; I have a bad headache as is.  
  
Hanpan: Like that's going to stop them- *A flash of red light, and the planet disappears*  
  
1.2.5  
  
1.2.6 Back to Cephiro…  
  
*First floor of the Citadel, a.k.a. F.A.N.F.I.C…*  
  
Siren: CORRUPTION ALERT! CORRUPTION ALERT! Bzzz! Bzzz!  
  
Elmo: Oh bugger!  
  
Chibi: The hell is going on here?!  
  
Bluejay: Ack! Look at the game moniters! *The moniters for the Wild ARMs, Final Fantasy 7, and Final Fantasy Tactics in the "Magic Knights…?" continuity, which were fine one minute ago, now show that all three worlds are completely trashed or have just plain disappeared*  
  
Ambigore: What happened?!  
  
Goddess Aerith: *Appears with a bang of pink smoke* Someone's corrupted all three of those realities! You know what this means, don't you?  
  
Chibi: Oh no, you don't mean…  
  
Goddess Aerith: I do. It's time for…  
  
Chibi: -another super-goofy crossover parody! *CRASH!*  
  
Regular Aerith: *Sweatdrop* Quit demolishing the fourth wall!  
  
Chibi: Oh, sorry.  
  
1.2.6.1.1 End Prologue  
  
1.2.6.1.1.1 "It's just a jump to the left…"  
  
-The line in a song after the one going to be used for next chapter's title.  
  
Chibi's notes:  
  
I'm baaaaaaack! And this time, I have help. (Rudy: It's about time you found a psychiatrist.) Not that kind of help, baka! (Rini: NOOOOOOO!! I'm on vacation, dammit!) Shush, you! 'Til next chapter!  
  
-Chibi-chan =:p  
  
P.S. Chapter One: "Let's Do the Time Warp Again!" (Elmo, since your doing the next chapter, you write the teaser for it)  
  
All characters © of their respective owners. BWAH!  
  
Note: Laaaaaahhhh!  
  
  
  
2 Chapter One: Let's Do the Time Warp Again…  
  
2.1 IN CEPHIRO…  
  
Spooky Narrator type Voice: In the Beginning, there was Darkness, and then the Creator said "What ever you like in the middle…" and Twisted was born…  
  
Chibi: Hey Elmo! Stop screwing with the readers minds! *CRASH!*  
  
Regular Aerith: CHIBI!  
  
Elmo: *Puts down paper cone* Damn!  
  
Ambigore: So what are we gonna do?  
  
Chibi: We're gonna believe?  
  
All: *groan*  
  
Bluejay: According to the Monitor, the point of origin was… wait a minute… the third floor?!  
  
Elmo: DAMN! I knew they were up to something….  
  
Chibi: How so?  
  
Elmo: 'Cause it says so here. *Elmo Holds up a Copy of the Magic Knights…?/Twisted 2 Prologue* *CRASH!*  
  
Goddess Aerith: CHIBI, DAMMIT! Will you stop that?!?  
  
Elmo: It was me this time…  
  
G.Aerith: Oh. Gimme the Fanfic..  
  
Elmo: I haven't finished reading it yet.  
  
G.Aerith: Tough noolies, give it here…..  
  
Elmo: Here you go then. *Mutters* stupid bitch…  
  
G.Aerith: What did you Say?  
  
Elmo: I've got a bad itch.  
  
G.Aerith: See ya! *Disappears in a puff of smoke. We can here her utter…* Smoke, bloody smoke, I'm a goddess not some damn pantomime fairy godmother and all they can come up with is smoke….  
  
Chibi: Well, what are we waiting for?  
  
Ambigore: To the third floor!  
  
Elmo: To the Batcave!  
  
All: ELMO!  
  
Chibi: By the way Elmo, I'll forgive you for now, but steal one more joke from Magic Knights and I break out the mallet. Ya dig?  
  
Elmo: *Lowers his head* Yes, Chibi…  
  
Chibi: Good boy! *Throws him a dog biscuit*  
  
Elmo: Oh, ha, ha, ha.  
  
Ambigore: *From Upstairs* Come on you two! *Chibi & Elmo run upstairs. (MST Character 1: And trip. They break their heads open and die, the end.)*  
  
THIRD FLOOR OF THE CITADEL…  
  
(MST Character 1: Oh yeah, like we didn't know that was gonna happen  
  
MST Character 2: Shush, you!  
  
MST Character 1: This is one extremely dodgy Author…  
  
MST Character 2: Don't worry, Chibi hasn't had a look yet. *Note: I have now!* It'll get better then.  
  
MSTC1: It can't get any worse!)  
  
Ambigore: Look!  
  
(MSTC 1: See Elmo run. See Elmo hide. Run Elmo run-  
  
MSTC2: Shush!! )  
  
Elmo: What the hell? Smoke on the floor?  
  
Ambigore: Never mind that, that's just a cliché. Look over there!  
  
Elmo: Oh, the Wibbly Vortex Thingy…  
  
Bluejay: For someone who created this whole theory, you sure know your technical terms…  
  
Elmo: Sure! That's a Wibbly Vortex Thingy, and the one over there is a Wobbly Vortex Thingy…  
  
Chibi: *Ben Stein voice* Wow.  
  
Ambigore: What?  
  
Chibi: Never mind.  
  
Bluejay: What? I can't see anything.  
  
Elmo: Take those sunglasses off.  
  
Bluejay: I still can't see it.  
  
Chibi: *Takes off her glasses and put them on Bluejay* See now?  
  
Bluejay: Now everything's all blurry. That's one strong prescription you got, Chibi. You almost blind or something?  
  
Chibi: *Takes her glasses back and puts them back on* Baka. *Smacks him with her mallet*  
  
Bluejay: Now I see little birdies…  
  
Elmo: *Walks over to the wobbly vortex* Here it is, see?  
  
Ambigore: Nope, I don't see nothin'.  
  
Chibi: I can. You know what that means…  
  
Elmo: A crossover parody?  
  
Chibi: We've had that joke once… it means that Elmo and I are the Main Characters…  
  
Ambigore: Oh, that's bloody TYPICAL!  
  
Chibi: No duh, Ambigore-kun.  
  
Elmo: Oh bugger!  
  
Ambigore: You know what, I'm SICK of this! I'm NEVER the main Character! I'm going going gone, and leaving all the thinking to you!  
  
Regular Aerith: You sure that's such a good idea? *WHAM!*  
  
Chibi: Shaddap!  
  
Bluejay: Well it seems we have two problems… One, we have to get those Characters back before reality collapses…  
  
Elmo: Again?! Wait, how do you know that?  
  
Bluejay: Read up on Narrative Causiality. It's not that hard really…  
  
Elmo: No Fair  
  
Chibi: What's problem number 2?  
  
Ambigiore: Guys?  
  
Chibi: Who ya callin' a guy?! *Takes out a mallet*  
  
Ambigore: *gulp!* No one…  
  
Elmo: Oh that's easy. Which Vortex do we take… number one or number two?  
  
(MSTC2: *snicker*  
  
MSTC1: You're disgusting.  
  
MSTC2: Bite me.)  
  
Ambigore: OPEN THE BOX, OPEN THE BOX!!  
  
Bluejay: No, TAKE THE MONEY!!!  
  
Regular Aerith: *groan* Anyone got any Tylenol ™?  
  
Chibi: You forgot number three…  
  
(MSTC2: Number three? I don't recall there being any number three- *SMACK!*  
  
MSTC1: Shaddap!)  
  
Elmo: Eh?  
  
Chibi: Standard F.A.N.F.I.C Interdimensional Transporter. Don't leave home without it… *Winks*  
  
Ambigore: What about number four?  
  
Bluejay: There's a number four?  
  
Elmo: Looks like an ordinary old silver bracelet to me. *Chibi takes out her mallet*  
  
Elmo: OK, OK! Transdimensional Transporter, it is then…  
  
Chibi: There's one more problem…  
  
Elmo: What?  
  
Chibi: Where did they go?  
  
Elmo: *Sweatdrop* Good question…  
  
Ambigore: Sod it! I'm going!  
  
Chibi: Don't let the doorknob hit ya on the a-  
  
Elmo: CHIBI!  
  
Chibi: What? He'll be back; he has no choice but to come back.  
  
2.2 FFVII DIMENSION…  
  
2.3  
  
2.4 City of the Ancients…  
  
*5 months Ago; Meteo is coming in fast…*  
  
Aerith: OK, Planet, here I am… *She skips to the altar, pulls a flower out of her hair, and starts pulling petals from it*  
  
Aerith: Sephy loves me…he loves me not… *sigh* I guess I'd better start praying, they'll be here soon.  
  
*Five minutes later*  
  
Aerith: *Praying* And… I'd like to thank my mother and father, Nobuo Uematsu, Sakaguchi, and that guy who did my hair… *High above here, a Vortex opens…*  
  
Crono: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII……….!!  
  
Aerith: … and the paper boy… and Zack… and… um, that's it… Now where is that guy who's supposed to kill me? *Crono smashes through the roof, knocking Sephiroth off balance from his hiding place. Crono falls on the altar, on top of Aerith*  
  
Crono: ……… *Translation: Sorry, ma'am!*  
  
Aerith: Is this the best you could do? I mean, impaling I can live with, but being killed by falling freak ain't my idea of a good time…  
  
Crono: ……… *Who ya callin' a freak, lady?!* *Cloud and company appear*  
  
Cloud: Aerith? Who the hell is that guy with the bad hair? Where's Sephiroth?  
  
Crono: ……… *Hey! My hair is at least better than yours, pal!* *Sephy falls of the roof into the water below*  
  
Cloud: Is not!  
  
Sephiroth: Oh, bugger! *SPLASH!!*  
  
Cid: Dude, this is pretty f^*^ed up right here!  
  
Vincent: ………  
  
Yuffie: Does this mean I can have his materia?  
  
IN FILGAIA…  
  
2.5  
  
2.6 Somewhere near Court Seim…  
  
2.7 *About 1,000 years ago…*  
  
Some Elw guy: Let's see, in order to create this new life, we need… *Lucca falls through the ceiling. The Elw guy (Carl) catches her*  
  
Lucca: Nice catch!  
  
Carl: Thanks, I think…  
  
Other Elw guy (Fred): Hey Carl, who's the babe?  
  
Lucca: Babe? You mean me?  
  
Fred: No, the other girl with glasses and purple hair… Of course I mean you!  
  
Mage Dhee: This is not constructive…  
  
Fred: Yeah, but it's cool! ^_^  
  
2.8 Ivalice…  
  
*Three days before the attack on Queklain…*  
  
Ramza: *Half asleep* …ZZZZzzzzzzzzz…  
  
Chocobo: Waaarrrkk!  
  
Ramza: *Grumbles* Shut up, you stupid chocobo, I'm trying to get some sleep. For some odd reason, this strange broad keeps appearing in my dreams… *Drifts back to sleep*  
  
*Ramza's dream…*  
  
Rini: Don't you EVER call me a strange broad again! RAMZA NO BAKA!! *She raises her mallet, but Misa stops her*  
  
Misa: Don't hit him or he'll wake up!  
  
Rini: Ramza, you're in great danger…. The fabric of the Space Time Continuum is in deep trouble…. Narrative Causiality is fractured… DO YOU UNDERSTAND?  
  
Leia: Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope-  
  
Rini: Get the hell out of this dream, you! *Boots Leia out of the dream. A ghostly figure of Ramza appears*  
  
Ramza: Who the hell are you? And why are you so familiar?  
  
Rini: I'm Rini, pleased ta meet ya.  
  
Misa: I'm Misa  
  
Pansy: VACATION!! VACATION!!  
  
Misa: Shut it, Pansy!  
  
Ramza: What's all this about Narrative thingies?  
  
Rini: Someone has invaded Ivailce. I don't know how long you have but the whole multiverse is at stake.  
  
Ramza: What's a "multiverse"?  
  
Rini: Never you mind. You're in deep crap, 'K?  
  
Ramza: But…  
  
Rini: Damn! They nearly found us!  
  
Ramza: ?????  
  
Rini: I'm not supposed to be here, Have to go…  
  
Misa: C'mon Rini! We'd better leave!  
  
Rini: Damn. Ja ne! *Rini, Misa and Pansy disappear*  
  
Ramza: What the hell was that all about? *Cue the evil dream beast* Not this again!  
  
2.9 SOMEWHERE IN LIMBO…  
  
Rini: Crap! We shouldn't have left him like that. His reality is doomed! He might die!  
  
Misa: And you care because…? He's just a Fanfic Character, no big loss… *Misa suddenly understands* Oh, I get it! You're really hung up on this guy are you?  
  
Rini: *Blushes* No…  
  
Pansy: Rini has a boyfirend, Rini has a boyfriend!!!  
  
Rini: SHADDAP!!!  
  
Pansy: Oooooh, Rini's blushing!.. Look at her- *WHAM!*  
  
Misa: You know how dangerous that is, don't you? I mean it's impossible; it'll never work…  
  
Rini: But…  
  
Misa: Falling for a Fanfic Character is almost as bad as falling for an Author!!  
  
Pansy: What did you say? *She turns white* Liking an Author is not allowed?  
  
Misa: *Sweatdrop* Both of you? Oh brother…  
  
2.10 BACK TO CITADEL  
  
*Elmo is holding a checklist*  
  
Elmo: Tootsie Pops?  
  
Chibi: Check. Why do we keep using this gag, anyway?  
  
Elmo: I dunno, it's just fun, I guess. "Spell Casting for Dummies"?  
  
Chibi: Check  
  
Elmo: Right, that's it. We're ready to go.  
  
Chibi: Now I've just got to focus on going where the problems started…  
  
Elmo: Wait! Where do we end up?  
  
Chibi: How the hell should I know? The only time I went through dimensions before was against my will!  
  
Elmo: Are you insane?  
  
Chibi: Yeah, didn't you know that?  
  
Elmo: Let's go! *They disappear in a puff of smoke*  
  
Ambigore: I'm leaving and not coming back!!  
  
Bluejay: Hey Ambigore, do ya think we should get the others?  
  
Ambigiore: Did you hear what I said?  
  
Bluejay: What?  
  
Ambigore: *Sweatdrop* Never mind…  
  
2.11 A PENTHOUSE IN LIMBO…  
  
Mala-chan: Bwahahahahahaha!!!  
  
Jenova: Stop it! You're laughing like a Final Fantasy villain!  
  
Mala-chan: Sorry, but everything is exactly going to plan!! The best thing is, the Characters are doing all the work for me!!!  
  
Jenova: What about those F.A.N.F.I.C. agents?  
  
Mala-chan: Ah, I have a contingency plan… COME! *Dycedarg Beoulve appears*  
  
Dycedarg: What is your bidding Mala-chan?  
  
Mala-chan: Eliminate these two Authors, they are getting in the way of my plans  
  
Dycedarg: *Eyes narrowing* Aha, Chibi-chan. I do not recognise the other person but he will not be as troublesome as you make out. Soon, I will get my revenge for sending a horny chocobo after me!  
  
Jenova: You sound confident…  
  
Dycedarg: He claims he 'created' Narrative Causiality. Such big headedness creates weakness.  
  
Mala-chan: Then go! Do not return until they are both dead…  
  
Dycedarg: As you wish… *Exits. Mala-chan turns to the third person*  
  
Mala-chan: What do you think?  
  
Person: ITEMS USED IN BATTLE ARE BATTLE ITEMS!!  
  
Mala-chan: *Sweatdrop* Why do we let him hang around here, anyway?  
  
Jenova: Hell if I know.  
  
3 End Chapter One  
  
"Don't ya just love the madness of it all"  
  
Crappy song "Madness thing" that I can't get out of my head!!  
  
"Always listen to the crazy people, peons!"  
  
-Lex  
  
  
  
Elmo's Notes: Hello! My turn to weave this story, Hope you liked it, Filgaia's is from Wild Arms and Ramza is from FFT, mind you, you probably knew that already… That joke that Elmo 'stole' was from Magic Knights… The Prologue of MK2!!! (You HAVE read it haven't you?) Ambigore's monologue sound familiar? It comes from Barret's monologue after the flashback. Mala- chan (who was the strange person with the spear) comes from MK1, Jenova from FF7 and the third man? Guess!! There's loads more in-jokes but I'm far too lazy to list them all (Aman: Yeah, he never does any work, He needs an ass whoopin' just to get out of bed… Elmo: What the hell are you doing here? Aman: You promised to put the archives in it, Where are they? Tell me or I'll whoop your ass! Elmo: *gulp!* Soon enough, now go away! Aman: I'll leave ya alone this time, but we'd better be in it or they'll be an ass whoopin' come sundown!)  
  
Chibi's notes:  
  
*Yelling at the spell checker* WHADDAYA MEAN, "RINI"'s MISSPELLED?!? IT'S SPELLED RIGHT, AND SO IS "RAMZA", "AERITH", AND "ELW"!! *Notices people are reading this* Um, hello! Hehehe, having to change format is fun! =xp Ah, well. I didn't change it all that much (Except the Wild ARMs part, the original scene came far too late in Filgaian history to mess up things the way it got messed up. Now all the people who played Wild ARMs all the way through will know what's going to happen there now…) The "Chocobo Incident" happened in MK1. (Delita: That reminds me; I have to smite you later too. Chibi: Ooookay…) Well, that's all I have…  
  
-Chibi-chan =:)  
  
P.S. In Chapter 2 "Of Mice and Materia" Our "intrepid" adventurers wind up in the wrong world and Dycedarg takes his first shot at them. Ja ne!  
  
All characters © of their respective owners. In space, no one can hear ice cream! Wait, that can't be right…  
  
  
  
Note: Uwee hee hee! I'm in charge of this chapter!  
  
4 Chapter Two: Of Mice and Materia  
  
4.1 LIMBO…  
  
The present for the currently ruined dimensions…  
  
*Cloud appears in a nicely decorated room*  
  
Cloud: The hell? *Ramza appears near the top of the room. He falls on Cloud* Ouchies…  
  
Ramza: Where am I? Damn, that's clichéd…  
  
Cloud: You mind getting'- *Rudy appears and is dropped on the both of them* oof!  
  
Ramza: This is going to be one of those days, isn't it?  
  
Rudy: *sigh* Now where has the Author dragged me?  
  
Ramza: Do you mind?  
  
Rudy: *Just now notices who he landed on* Oh, sorry. *Stands up* You OK?  
  
Cloud: Gee, I just had two people fall on me. DO YOU THINK I'M ALL RIGHT?!?  
  
Ramza: I would say something, but that would accomplish nothing. Where- *With a standard entrance, two gods of Narrative Causiality appear*  
  
Unknown god 1: Hello!  
  
Rudy: *Recognizes this one* Grandfather?!? Is that you?!?  
  
G. Zepet: Yes and no. It's… complicated.  
  
Unknown god 2: Oh, don't give him that bullshit, Zepet! It's not like you don't have the time to explain-  
  
Ramza: Dad?  
  
G. Balbanes: Oh, hello, son.  
  
Cloud: This is getting weird… *On cue, goddess Aerith appears*  
  
G.Aerith: Smoke, bloody smoke, I'm a goddess not some damn pantomime fairy godmother and all they can come up with is smoke….  
  
Cloud: Oh my…  
  
Rudy: Would someone please tell me what the fu… *Remembers Zepet's in the room* I mean, what's going on here?  
  
G. Aerith: Narrative Causiality has been corrupted by three Characters from Cephiro in each of your worlds, causing them to be, well, royally screwed. Hell, Filgaia ain't even there anymore.  
  
SD Rudy: WHAT?!? *Notices the change* Oh, not this again! ~.~;;  
  
SD G. Aerith: No worries, I got some people working on correcting what those three idiots did to your worlds. In the meantime, all the people and creatures that are affected have been temporarily moved here, to Limbo. Any questions?  
  
Cloud: Yeah. Do you have a Playstation here?  
  
SD Rudy: *Sweatdrop* Baka.  
  
SD Ramza: What's a "Playstation"?  
  
G. Aerith: I mean, does anyone have any relevant questions?  
  
Rudy: I do. How the hel… um, how is it possible for my grandfather to be alive here?  
  
G. Aerith: Easy, he's now a god of Narrative Causiality for your world.  
  
SD Rudy: Er, thanks for clearing that up, I think…  
  
4.2 MOREAU, AQUAVEIL…  
  
Leon: Give it up, Batista!  
  
Batista: NEVER!! *Chibi and Elmo appear high in the air. Chibi lands on Batista and Elmo lands on a Priestess*  
  
Priestess: Why me?  
  
Batista: What the hell?  
  
Chibi: Ugh, why did falling from the sky have to be a running gag?  
  
Elmo: I don't know; you started it. Where are we now?  
  
Leon: Well, this makes things a lot easier…  
  
Stahn: Who are you people?  
  
Chibi: *Sweatdrop* Never mind us, we're just passing through… ^^;; (Why do these people look familiar? Hey, I know!) *Dycedarg appears on the ground*  
  
Dycedarg: Time to die, Authors!  
  
Elmo: Oh bugger!  
  
Chibi: *Sweatdrop* Heheh! (Think fast, Chibi… Aha!) *Points at Dycedarg* He's with Lydon! Get him!  
  
Elmo: Who's Lydon?  
  
Dycedarg: *Sees the oncoming Tales of Destiny character mob closing in on him* Oh bugger! *Runs away*  
  
Elmo: I don't think this is where we should be…  
  
Chibi: Ya think? Let's try this again… *Elmo and Chibi disappear*  
  
4.3 IVALICE…  
  
4.4  
  
*The battle with Queklain has begun…*  
  
Ramza: (Why do I have this bad feeling that something going to go wrong?) *Queklain picks up a thick book and whacks Ramza over the head with it, knocking him out*  
  
Stryker: Oh bugger. *Reaches into his bag* (Now where'd I put that Phoenix Down?) *Marle appears before him*  
  
Marle: Oooh, a fight! Kewl! ^_^-n  
  
Stryker: Uh, miss? You're in the way-  
  
Marle: In the way of what?  
  
Stryker: In the way of my throw. You see, I need to get this Phoenix Down-  
  
Marle: What's "Phoenix Down"?  
  
Stryker: A magic feather that revives fallen allies. Now if you'll please move-  
  
Marle: Who fell?  
  
Stryker: Our leader. Now please-  
  
Marle: Who's your leader?  
  
Stryker: Ramza. Now- *Ramza turns into crystal* Aw, dammit, now our leader's dead! Are you happy now, you little-  
  
Marle; Don't blame me; you were the one who talked to me first!  
  
4.4.1 Stryker: *Sweatdrop* Oh hell…  
  
4.5  
  
4.6 SOMEWHERE IN LIMBO…  
  
Rini: *Pacing nervously about* You think Chibi and Elmo can fix the dimensions in time?  
  
Misa: They have too; this is a fanfic, remember?  
  
Pansy: *Sing-song* They won't make it! They won't make it!  
  
Rini: She's right, you know. I mean, look at who have to fix things! Elmo's… Elmo and Chibi can't find her way to Midgar without a map! He's doomed, I tell you, DOOMED!!  
  
Pansy: Ain't that Elmo's line?  
  
Misa: Don't you mean, the dimensions are doomed?  
  
Rini: Those too. That's it, I'm going to-  
  
Misa: -sit down. You can't do anything to help without breaking protocol.  
  
Rini: Screw protocol, I'm going. You with me or not?  
  
Misa: *sigh* How did I know you were going to say that? I guess I have to go to make sure you don't make your presence known…  
  
Pansy: *Jumps up and down* Yay! Adventure time!  
  
Misa: Stow it, or you ain't coming with.  
  
Pansy: Oh, you're no fun!  
  
Misa: *Whispers to Rini* Tell me again why we have to put up with her?  
  
Rini: She's the only one who can use magic without needing to use a book, that's why.  
  
Misa: *grumble*  
  
Pansy: Where to first?  
  
Rini: Where do you think?  
  
Pansy: Ivalice it is, then. ^_^ *Rini takes out the locket and creates a portal. They all step in and end up in another dimension. Meanwhile…*  
  
4.7 FFVII DIMENSION…  
  
City of the Ancients, a minute before Aerith got there…  
  
*Chibi and Elmo appear on the altar*  
  
Chibi: At least we didn't fall out of the sky this time…  
  
Elmo: Hey, I think we're in the right place this time!  
  
Chibi: What makes you say that?  
  
Elmo: Well, the fact that Aerith is coming this way was a dead give-away.  
  
Chibi: Oh, well, maybe we should hide. Her seeing us just won't do at all.  
  
Elmo: Right. *Both take out tree branches and pretend to be bushes*  
  
Aerith: *Skips up to the altar* Hmm, I didn't think there were plants here. Oh well! ^_^ OK, Planet, here I am… *She skips to the altar, pulls a flower out of her hair, and starts pulling petals from it*  
  
Chibi: *Harsh whisper* Hey, Elmo, do you know what we're supposed to be looking for?  
  
Elmo: *Ditto* I thought you knew!  
  
Chibi: *Sweatdrop* Oy vey… Just look for something suspicious.  
  
Elmo: Like Sephiroth floating above us?  
  
Chibi: *Looks up* Nah, I think he's supposed to be there. Watch out for something that'll move him out of the way and keep "Spell Casting for Dummies" open to the "Stop" spell. If we're lucky, whoever is about to move Sephiroth with be suspended in the air by the spell, keeping this continuity running right.  
  
Elmo: Then we send the Character back?  
  
Chibi: Exactly.  
  
Aerith: Wow, the Planet's really talkative today. It's almost like the voices are coming from right behind me… *Elmo and Chibi form anime-style sweatdrops*  
  
Crono: Oh shi-  
  
Chibi: ELMO, NOW!  
  
Elmo: Erm, time, stop the falling Character that doesn't belong! STOP! *Crono stops in midair*  
  
Crono: (What the hell…?!) *Cloud and company come. Sephiroth falls from the sky and, well, you know the rest*  
  
*Later…*  
  
Elmo: They gone now?  
  
Chibi: Yeah, we can ditch the foliage now. *Both throw the tree branches into the water. The spell on Crono wears off and he falls on both Elmo and Chibi* Who didn't see that coming?  
  
Crono: Where am I?  
  
Elmo: A dimension you don't belong in. Chibi, are you ready?  
  
Chibi: To quote Cloud, "Off course!" *The three disappear and wind up…*  
  
BACK AT THE CITADEL…  
  
Ambigore: I mean it! I'm leaving!  
  
Aman: Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. *Yelling into a phone* Work faster, Jade! We need this problem fixed right now! *Elmo, Chibi, and Crono appear*  
  
Chibi: One down, two to go!  
  
Elmo: Where to next, Chibi?  
  
Chibi: I dunno, where? *Bluejay runs in*  
  
Bluejay: Hey, you're back! *Becomes serious* You're not going to believe this, but this world is starting to crumble now!  
  
All: WHAT?!?  
  
Bluejay: It's true! I was watching the Moniters when a second set of characters entered the FFT dimension and… and… something really bad happened!  
  
Chibi: FFT? You don't mean that…  
  
Bluejay: *Nods* I do. Rini is… gone. The FFT dimension is fine now, but without Rini, the "Magic Knights" won't make it through the fanfic, and…  
  
Elmo: No more us… This is not good.  
  
Chibi: Looks like we got our work cut out for us, eh, Elmo?  
  
Elmo: Right. Shall we get going? *Chibi nods. Chibi and Elmo blink out of the dimension*  
  
Ambigore: *Looks out the window* Looks like I'm not going anywhere for a while…  
  
A PENTHOUSE IN LIMBO…  
  
Mala-chan: Look like I won't need Dycedarg after all.  
  
Jenova: Don't count on it. They just might fix the problem.  
  
Mala-chan: Those bumblers? I'm surprised they fixed the FF7 continuity.  
  
Daravon: I like lettice. Lettice is cheese with sprinkles.  
  
Jenova: *Sweatdrop* Maybe we should kick him out…  
  
Mala-chan: We've tried that before; he just came back.  
  
Jenova: *Sweatdrop* Oh bugger…  
  
SOMEWHERE IN MOREAU…  
  
Dycedarg: *huff* *puff* (Damn, those Tales of Destiny guys are persistant!) Damn you, Chibi-chan! I'll get you next time!!  
  
Leon: There he is! Get him!  
  
Rutee: That reward is as good as mine!  
  
Mary and Stahn: *Sweatdrop* Rutee…  
  
Dycedarg: SHIT!! *Runs away*  
  
End Chapter Two  
  
"Buzz: This is no time to panic-  
  
Woody: THIS IS A PERFECT TIME TO PANIC!"  
  
-Two lines from Toy Story that just seemed to fit.  
  
  
  
Chibi's notes:  
  
Dude, things are getting messed up, ain't they? Anyway, if you didn't notice yet, Moreau and the people there are from Tales of Destiny. I know, I know, the title doesn't quite fit the chapter, but is that really important? (Rudy: Yes. Chibi: Oh, shush, you!) Um, that's all I got now…  
  
-Chibi-chan =:)  
  
  
  
P.S. In Chapter Three: "Big Trouble in Little Ivalice" Stuff happens. Elmo, if you would?  
  
All characters © of their respective owners. Gotta catch 'em all!  
  
  
  
  
  
Note: D'oh, A Deer, a Female Deer…… Head for the hillls Elmo's back in the Drivers seat!  
  
5 Chapter 3- Big Trouble in Little Ivalice  
  
IVALICE…  
  
Whatever the present is… Or perhaps it's the past of the future... (Chibi: Elmo, the readers are confused enough already!)  
  
Ramza: ……  
  
Stryker: Holy shnikes- you're alive! But how…?! Hampsten, you gotta see this!  
  
Hampsten: Holy mother of Nisan! How…?!?  
  
Ramza: … what are you talking about?  
  
Stryker: Well, all I remember was this girl…we were in battle… Never mind old friend, let's go for a drink.  
  
Ramza: … you know I'm not a drinker. One drink, I'm plastered. Two drinks and I hit on anyone on two feet.  
  
Stryker: I know, it's just funny to see Delita and Agrias pop you one for suggesting-  
  
Hampsten: Hey! You can't say that here! Debra and Angelica *(A lady Monk and a Geomancer, respectively. -Chibi)* will hurt us for making comments like that!  
  
Stryker: Oh, right. *The two friends walk off*  
  
Ramza: Weirdos… *Walks after them. Elmo and Chibi fall from the sky. Elmo lands in some nettles while Chibi lands in some hay*  
  
Elmo: Dammit! Why do we have to have this running gag? *Chibi shrugs* If we're in Ivalice, where is everyone?  
  
Chibi: Looks like we're not far back enough in the past. We must travel back in time to the right place.  
  
Elmo: Can we do that?  
  
Chibi: Is O.J guilty? Hold on to your hats….  
  
Elmo: We're not wearing any- *With a flash of light, they're gone*  
  
BEHIND THE SCENES…  
  
Director: What the hell was that all about? I Asked for SMOKE, DAMMIT!  
  
Polly Grip: Sorry, boss, we're all out of dry Ice!  
  
Director: Dammit! Anyway, back to the Archives… Lights! Camera! ACTION!  
  
5.1 IN THE SQUARESOFT ARCHIVES…  
  
Jade: What's wrong? What do you need to tell him…?  
  
FBD: In the last hour, there have been a total of 32 rips to the fabric of reality to various dimensions.  
  
Jade: And?  
  
FBD: Don't you see? This means that whoever is causing this is looking for reinforcements!  
  
Jade: Oh, rear!  
  
FBD: At least the Flipside hasn't been affected.  
  
Jade: What's that?  
  
FBD: The Flipside? It's Elmo's nickname for Dimension #101-B  
  
Jade: 101-B? I thought all realities were unique?  
  
FBD: Apparently not. You see when the Multiverse was formed, the one we call "Reality" was split into two.  
  
Jade: Like identical twins?  
  
FBD: Exactly, but they didn't evolve along the same lines. While the one we all know and love, Dimension #101 went one way, the "Flipside" went completely the opposite one.  
  
Jade: What do you mean?  
  
FBD: While we in our reality developed "Morals." That stopped us, say, to kill each other-  
  
Jade: ... most of the time.  
  
FBD: Well, yes, most of the time. This other dimension did not. We worshipped what we call "Good," while they worshipped "Evil".  
  
Jade: So they're all Satanists?  
  
FBD: Not exactly. What we think of "Hell" is a nice place to them.  
  
Jade: So that's where Bill Gates came from! So why haven't they broken through here yet?  
  
FBD: That's the weird part. They have some sort of shield around them. It "cloaks" it, making them think that's the only dimension.  
  
Jade: So what would happen if they broke through?  
  
FBD: Think about it, if Uncle Elmo here is the one who "created" Narrative Causiality, then their Uncle Elmo is…  
  
Jade: … the one who'll destroy it! That's bad!  
  
FBD: That's not all. Come with me!  
  
Jade: Where?  
  
FBD: To The Library!  
  
5.2 A PENHOUSE IN LIMBO…  
  
Jenova: … that's it! I've run out of MP.  
  
Mala-chan: What do you mean, "That's it"?! *Sweatdrop* Look at these people! Do they look like they've come from this "Flipside" to you?  
  
Jenova: I've transported 32 People from 16 dimensions, could you give me a break here?!  
  
Mala-chan: Well, If the person you say is not the one you're looking for, then I suppose we have to interview them to see who's the most effective for our… job…  
  
Daravon: A Golden Eagle is an Eagle tat is Golden…  
  
*Later…*  
  
Jenova: Tell us a little about yourself.  
  
Cartman: *beep* you, bitch! I've gotta get home 'cause my Mom has made me Cheesy Poofs.  
  
Wendy: Well My favorite color is pink. I like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens….  
  
Mala-chan: NEXT!!!  
  
5.3 SQUARESOFT ARCHIVES – THE LIBRARY…  
  
FBD: Sorry about the mess… as you know we've just moved in!  
  
Jade: What did you want to show me?  
  
FBD: Come over here. *She walks towards Elmo's desk. It is littered with various documents. A dog-eared copy of "Child Rearing for Dummies" is on the side*  
  
Jade: "Child Rearing"? Hey, it has the word "Rear" in it! ^_^  
  
FBD: *Sweadtrop* What? Oh, he did raise Aerith, didn't he? *FBD looks through the papers and she picks up a book* Ah, here it is. *Jade reads the cover*  
  
Jade: The Theory of Narrative Causiality by Uncle Elmo. Yes, very nice, and?  
  
FBD: Open it.  
  
Jade: It's full of crap! *Somewhere, Chibi says, "That's my word, dang it!"*  
  
FBD: No, that's normal. Look towards the end.  
  
Jade: What? The last 100 pages are empty! What does this mean?  
  
FBD: It means that Narrative Causiality is collapsing. Go to a shelf and pick up any book. *Jade strolls to a shelf and picks up a book*  
  
Jade: It's "It was meant to be" by Ambigore.  
  
FBD: Nice choice! Now open it. *Presumably, Jade opens the book and looks at the pages*  
  
Jade: There're no words!  
  
FBD: Exactly. Narrative Causiality is unwriting itself. You see, it can't handle all this pressure. If Elmo and Chibi don't do something drastic soon, then all narrative causiality won't exist.  
  
Jade: That's bad, isn't it?  
  
FBD: So now you know. I have to tell them! Now where did I put that magnesium…  
  
Jade: What are you doing?  
  
FBD: Opening an Interdimensional Gateway. Since we haven't got any uranium around, I'll have to use this method… Have you got any water?  
  
Parappa: I do! *Holds out that glass of water from the intro of his game*  
  
FBD: Nifty! Wait, where did you come from?  
  
5.4 BACK TO THAT PENTHOUSE IN LIMBO…  
  
Jenova: What do you have to say about yourself?  
  
Lara: Well My interests include archaeology, jumping about a bit, and, well, not much else really…  
  
Butler: M'lady is very skilled at that sort of thing.  
  
Lara: Now wait for me to get out of these wet clothes… *Somewhere, thousands of fanboys rejoice*  
  
Daravon: *lewd giggles*  
  
Mala-chan: NEXT!!  
  
5.5 IN IVALICE…  
  
Back in the mists of time… Well, about 10 minutes ago. Really, grant me bloody artistic license, will ya?!  
  
*Chibi and Elmo appear in a flash*  
  
Chibi: Here we are.  
  
Elmo: At last, a proper entrance! Hadn't we better hide? I mean, we're in the middle of a battlefield… Wait a minute, this is a bloody church!  
  
Chibi: Shut up and hide! *They hide behind some potted shrubbery, along with some weird guys who say "Ni!"*  
  
Elmo: Who's that? *Points at a male Chemist*  
  
Chibi: That's Stryker.  
  
Elmo: And that? *Points at Ramza*  
  
Chibi: That's Ramza, you twit! I wish you'dve played FF Tactics…  
  
Elmo: I may not have played FF Tactics, but I do know that that girl is not dressed for battle! *Points at Marle*  
  
Chibi: That's Marle! She's the one who's screwing up this Continuity!  
  
Elmo: Where's Rini, then?  
  
Stryker: Excuse me, Miss, but I need to get a Phoenix Down… *There's a great flash and Rini runs out screaming*  
  
Rini: Noooo! He'll die! *Pansy and Misa appear close behind*  
  
Misa: Oy vey! There's gonna be hell to pay for this!  
  
Pansy: Go get 'em, Rini! Yaaaay!  
  
Misa: Can it!  
  
Pansy: Bite me. =p  
  
Elmo: What the hell? I'm sure that's breaking protocol.  
  
Chibi: Screw protocol, she's in trouble! We have to save her!  
  
Elmo: How?  
  
Ramza: What? Who the hell are you?  
  
Rini: I've come to save you!  
  
Marle: Cool! What's happening?  
  
Elmo: Who are those two girls?  
  
Chibi: Misa & Pansy.  
  
Pansy: *Looks towards the shrubbery* Who's that guy hiding as a tree next to the boss?  
  
Misa: Uncle Elmo  
  
Pansy: That's Uncle Elmo? I thought he'd be cuter… *Elmo sweatdrops*  
  
Misa: *Sweatdrop* Hoo boy…  
  
Rini: Let's go, Ramza, I know where you can be safe! *At that moment, time stops*  
  
Chibi: What the hell did you do Elmo?  
  
Elmo: Nothing! (This time, anyway…)  
  
IN A LITTLE HOUSE IN LIMBO…  
  
Rudy: *Mindlessly doodling in a notebook* I'm bored!  
  
Ramza: Zzzzzzzz  
  
Cloud: Stupid Port Timney. WHERE THE HELL IS THAT DUPLICATOR?!?  
  
Rudy: *sigh* Give the controller here. *Cloud hands the controller to Rudy. The fourth wall promptly crashes, but everyone ignores it* Moron, how can a Playstation have an Illegal operation error?  
  
SD Cloud: Um, 'cause Hanpan said so?  
  
Ramza: Cursed thing! It's witchcraft I tell you! It's against the will of the Lord!  
  
Cloud: Didn't you, like, lose your faith or something?  
  
SD Ramza: Oh, right, sorry…  
  
Rudy: How about we play "The Six Degrees of Aerith Gainsborough"?  
  
Cloud: That game's easy! Shoot!  
  
Rudy: All right! Find the link between Aerith aaaaaand… Lolitha!  
  
Cloud: ………  
  
Ramza: Lolitha was unearthed for the Adlehyde Ruins Festival, one of the people at the festival was a flower girl, and Aerith is a flower girl…. That's a really tenuous link, Rudy.  
  
Cloud: Sucky game! *To Rudy* Give me something else… *To Ramza* Besides, shouldn't you be sleeping?  
  
Ramza: *Mumbles* Spiky-headed jerk…  
  
SD Rudy: *Sweatdrop* Alrighty then…. Aerith aaaaaand… Zephyr the Guardian of Hope.  
  
Cloud: Umm…..  
  
Ramza: It's easy… *Goddess Aerith, who appears in a flash of light, interrupts Ramza*  
  
G.Aerith: Guys, I have some news to report. The Final Fantasy Continuities seem fixed.  
  
Cloud: So that means we can go home?  
  
G.Aerith Not Exactly, We have to wait until Filgaia appears so you can all return.  
  
Cloud: Aw man, we gotta wait until his *Indicates Rudy* stupid planet is fixed?  
  
Rudy: *For some odd reason, he is holding a large mallet* What. Did. You. Say. About. FILGAIA?!?  
  
Cloud: *gulp!* Nothing!  
  
Ramza: I have a question.  
  
G.Aerith: Shoot.  
  
Ramza: Aren't we being missed? I Mean, I know Alma's probably missing me….  
  
Cloud: Tifa and the other Aeris must be missing me too…  
  
G.Aerith: It's… a little complicated.  
  
Rudy: Listen, we've been through a crossover where weird crap was a normal occurance, I think we can handle a little more weirdness.  
  
G.Aerith: *shrug* All right. In actual fact, you're both here and in your own dimensions.  
  
Rudy: (Why am I not surprised…?)  
  
Cloud: The hell?  
  
G.Aerith: I told you it's complicated…..  
  
Ramza: Don't mind the spiky-headed jerk. Just explain, and later we can cut it down into one-syllable sentences for him…  
  
Cloud: Why you little…!  
  
G.Aerith: If you want to shed some testosterone, do it when I leave. Otherwise, I ain't tellin' you crap! I'M A GODDESS!!  
  
Rudy: Just ignore them; that's what I do.  
  
SD Cloud and SD Ramza: *Bow their heads* Sorry, Aerith…  
  
G.Aerith: What happened was that, when the dimensions looked in danger, we transferred your souls here. Your bodies are still in your respective dimensions.  
  
Rudy: Wha…?! Whoa, that's freaky! Although it does explain that whole super-deformed thing going on here…  
  
G. Aerith: What's the matter, Ramza? You look surprised.  
  
Cloud: He didn't know he had a soul!  
  
Ramza: At least I have a decent hairdo!  
  
Cloud: Bible basher!  
  
Ramza: Schizophrenic!  
  
Cloud: Um… Smelly!  
  
Ramza: Fanboy!  
  
SD Rudy: Not again!  
  
SD G. Aerith: *sigh* I give up… *Her celestial cellular phone rings* Hello? It's me… Limbo… She did WHAT? … I'll be right there… Hwyl! *She hangs up* Looks like I have to go, there's big trouble in Little Ivalice. *rimshot (Heh, heh, heh…)*  
  
Ramza: What!?  
  
G. Aerith: Hwyl!  
  
Cloud: Aerith! Wait! *Aerith disappears in a flash of light*  
  
Rudy: What's wrong?  
  
Cloud: I wanted to ask her what's the connection between her and Zephyr the Guardian of Hope… *All become SD*  
  
SD Rudy: … baka…  
  
5.6 BACK TO THE PENTHOUSE…  
  
Mala-chan: *sigh* What do you have to say?  
  
Otacon: Well, may I say it is a great honor to be here. I mean we must be the first humans to travel through an interdimensional portal. Do you have a TV? Pokemon will be on soon…  
  
Mei Ling: Hoo Boy! He doesn't have a life at all. "Doo Wah Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy Doo." It means…. I don't know what it means it's just a bloody song. Does everything I say have to have a FLIPPING MEANING! NO! WHY DO I TALK LIKE THIS?!?  
  
Jenova: NEXT!  
  
5.7 IN IVALICE…  
  
Elmo: This is bad!  
  
Chibi: Why aren't you whispering?  
  
Elmo: There's no point; it's not as if anyone can hear us.  
  
Chibi: Oh, good point. *Indicating Rini* Anyway, we have to save her.  
  
Elmo: How?  
  
Chibi: How the hell should I know?! *A flash of light occurs*  
  
Elmo: Uh oh, looks like time's up! *Three Gods of Narrative Causiality, Aerith and two unknown ones, appear. G.Aerith points her finger and mutters something. Rini unfreezes*  
  
Rini: What the…. *Sees the Gods* BAKA!  
  
G.Aerith: We should have known you'd pull a stunt like this.  
  
Rini: But….  
  
Unknown God 1: I'm very disappointed in you, young lady!  
  
Unknown God 2: You of all people should know the rules.  
  
Rini: *About to cry* He was going to die! I had to save him!  
  
Unknown God 1: You know the consequences of your actions, you shall be punished!  
  
Unknown God 2: The punishment is that your existence shall be wiped out, so not only will you cease existing… You will have never lived…  
  
Rini: *Tears pouring out of her eyes* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! My own parents are going to get rid of me! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!  
  
Elmo: Her dad's gonna bite her- *WHAM!* Who did that?!  
  
Chibi: *Runs out from her hiding place* NO! Don't you see that if you do that, there'll be no one to guide the Magic Knights through the Fanfic?!  
  
G.Aerith: Uh oh, I can see where this is going…  
  
Unknown God 1: And?  
  
Chibi: No "Magic Knights…?" means no "Twisted". No "Twisted", no you, or us for that matter. Besides, how can you do this to your own daughter?!  
  
G. *Name deleted to drive you nuts*: It is necessary; protocol must be followed.  
  
Chibi: I created you! *Elmo runs from his hiding place*  
  
Elmo: I'd stop that chain of thought right now, Chibi. Let's go, we have the Multiverse to save, remember?  
  
Chibi: Without Rini, there'll be no Multiverse to save. You can talk about your stupid protocols and rules all you like, but frankly, my Elmo, I don't give a damn! They say our future is written into our genes…  
  
Elmo: Oh dear, this is gonna take a while…  
  
5.8 IN THE PENTHOUSE- SQUARESOFT ARCHIVES…  
  
*Parappa disappears for no good reason*  
  
FBD: Great, now we'll have to use Aman's sink… *They go to the door leading to Aman's office*  
  
Jade: Are you sure about this? Aman won't be happy.  
  
FBD: So?  
  
Jade: Good point. Let's go. *They enter Aman's office. It's plushly decorated with a several pictures on the walls. In a corner there is a mud- wrestling pit (Ecchi! -Chibi). Various instruments of torture litter the walls from Maces to Swords to Guns. Aman's desk is at the end. (Much tidier than Elmo's with loads of books on it.)*  
  
FBD: What are these?  
  
Jade: That black one? It's Aman's black book. You know, the kind with the names of his lady friends in it.  
  
FBD: It's huge!  
  
Jade: It's probably half empty, though *(Chibi: Heh, heh, heh! I'm baaaaaad!)*.  
  
FBD: What's this… Hmm, "Things to do today: 1. Save the Multiverse, 2. Whoop Elmo's Ass, 3. Whoop Ambigore's Ass, 4. Eat, 5.More ass whooping… 6. Some Lovin'"?! I did not need to know that!!  
  
Jade: Ugh, neither did I…  
  
FBD: "7. Fire Uncle Elmo, 8. Dinner at the Citadel, 9. Whoop Wade's Ass…" My, someone's preoccupied with "ass whoopin'"…  
  
Jade: *Holds out a little paper cup* Here's some water. What are you gonna do with it?  
  
FBD: A little experiment. Stand back! *She places the magnesium into the water, resulting in a great flash of light (Don't ask…)*  
  
FBD: It worked! Now I have to find Chibi and Elmo and tell them the news.  
  
Jade: But where will you end up?  
  
FBD: I don't know. Hopefully, I'll find a God or Goddess of Narrative Causiality who can pass on the message and maybe bring me home. Why don't you come with me?  
  
Jade: Sorry, I have my own Journey to take…  
  
FBD: Aw… *She jumps through the portal*  
  
Jade: *sigh* I better get out of here; Squall will be expecting me… *Exits*  
  
5.9 BACK TO IVALICE…  
  
Chibi: …and I say choose life! Stand up for what you believe in, because you gotta believe!  
  
G. *Name deleted*: Have you finished yet?  
  
Chibi: Yeah, I'm done.  
  
G. Aerith: Your defence is admirable, Chibi. I vote that Rini be placed on probation…  
  
Rini: Yata!! ^_^-n  
  
G. *Name deleted to drive you nuts*: HOWEVER! If any more transgressions occur then we will have no choice but to punish Rini to the full extent of the law!  
  
Chibi: That ain't gonna happen, *To Rini* right?  
  
Rini: Right, boss.  
  
G. Aerith: *Winks at Elmo* Well then, we shall depart! *The three gods leave*  
  
Rini: Thanks, Boss…  
  
Chibi: *Holds her hand up* Don't talk, we'll chat about this later…  
  
Rini: Right.  
  
Chibi: Shouldn't you be on vacation?  
  
Rini: Oh, right. *To Misa and Pansy* Let's go!  
  
Pansy: Yaaay! Holiday!  
  
Misa: Shut up!  
  
Pansy: =p *They disappear*  
  
Elmo: That was quite a speech.  
  
Chibi: Thanks.  
  
Elmo: It wasn't necessary though…  
  
Chibi: *Angrily* Why not?  
  
Elmo: Rini would have gotten away with it.  
  
Chibi: How? Are you keeping something from me, Elmo?  
  
Elmo: Let's just say, it's not a matter of what you know, but who… Aerith was the Judge right?  
  
Chibi: Yeah, so?  
  
Elmo: Who raised her? Who knows all sorts of embarrassing stories about her?  
  
Chibi: Elmo! That's blackmail!  
  
Elmo: Yeah, and Aerith knew it! That's why Rini got away with it…  
  
Chibi: Oh yeah, it's all your doing and my speech had nothing to do with it… *Raises her mallet*  
  
Elmo: *Quickly* Let's just forget about it… Anyway, shouldn't we do something about her? *Points to Marle*  
  
Chibi: Well, you're the magic user…..  
  
Elmo: Oh yeah, right… *Pulls out a Crest Graph*  
  
Chibi: Where the hell did you get one of those?!  
  
Elmo: Interdimensional Seven-Eleven  
  
Chibi: Oh… Then why the hell don't I have any?!? I'm the Wild ARMs fangirl…  
  
Elmo: Oh, shush. *Casts "Escape"*  
  
BACK TO THE PENHOUSE…  
  
Jenova: This is our last couple. Tell us, you have an interesting name, "Master"… What are you Master of?  
  
Master: Well, dude, I'm not really master of anything, I am just THE MASTER! *Dramatic thunderclap* I picked it 'cause it sounds cool. Is there any sea here? 'Cause I really wanna surf. I mean, sometimes when I go surfing the waves are THREE FEET HIGH!! I mean is that bodacious or what? Anyway, you say you want us to kill these dudes? Not a problem, I mean last week I killed two guys WITH MY BARE HANDS! Well, OK, so it was at Tekken, but you catch my drift. Yeah?  
  
Mala-chan: Hmmm….  
  
Jenova: What about you? *To other Applicant* Would you be willing to do the job?  
  
Other Applicant: Yah, Sure! Well, if I don't break a nail. I'm a Taurus, I go to high school and I like cheerleading. Any shops around here? I really need to go shopping; It's been almost an HOUR here. If I don't buy a new Gucci sweater every day, I just DIE. My therapist suggests that I do… Killing these people won't be any problem, I mean look at them, They're total nerds. Look at this one, "Chibi-chan" Her hair is…. Urrggghhh, and her dress, I can't even see a label! And those shoes, are they, like, older than I am? The less said about this Uncle person, the better. Did they get him out of the Zoo? Let's see, "Writes Fanfcs." What the hell is one of them? I wait for the film to come out…  
  
Mala-chan: *Whispers to Jenova* I think we've found our assassins.  
  
Jenova: You've got the job, Mr. Master and… Oh, didn't catch your name…  
  
Other Applicant: My name is Susan, you can call me Suzi…  
  
5.10 AND IN MOREAU…  
  
Dycedarg: ARGH! Those Tales of Destiny guys are persistent! Now how am I going to get those annoying little agents?! *Interdimensional cell phone rings* Hello? What?!? FIRED?!? DAMN YOU!!  
  
Leon: There he is!  
  
Dycedarg; Not again!! *Runs away, followed by the ToD Characters*  
  
  
  
"A Fo Ben Bid Bont"  
  
A Welsh Proverb, Which basically signifies that If you're a Boss, then you should Lead by Example. I Just thought it was fitting judging by Chibi's actions this Chapter…  
  
"Hakuna matata!"  
  
-Timon and Pumbaa  
  
It's a wonderful phrase!  
  
Elmo's Notes: Wow! What a long chapter! I Hope I haven't lost you there! I had a lot of Ideas I wanted to implement here and I hope I've done it without totally confusing the lot of you! There's so many in-jokes here I won't mention them. There are (at the time of writing) No Parappa references… (Untill Chibi gets hold of it) You Should know where the "Applicants" come from. So what is the Connection between Zephyr the Guardian of Hope & Aerith? E-Mail me if you think you know.(I might put the answer in my notes for the next chapter) The Game 6 Degrees of Aerith is Based on the Internet Game 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon, where you find a link between A Person and an unrelated object. Try it! Oh BTW Aman did you like that Portrayal of your office you've been begging me for? Anyway Next Issue is under Chibi's Control, no more of this "Plot Development" Nonsense! Relish in some Comic Genius. HWYL!  
  
Chibi's notes:  
  
Comic genius? Me? (Rudy: I'm just as stunned as you, Chibi.) Shaddap, ya blue-haired little freak before I tell everyone where to find a picture of you in a Sailor Scout dress! (Rudy: eep!) And yes, it does exist. How do I know? I know 'cause I drew it! (Rudy: … you're evil!) Am not! I'm just hyper. Well, seeing as I only fiddled with some stuff and corrected grammar, spelling, etc., I don't have much to say. That's it for today! (Fourth Parappa ref, tee hee!)  
  
-Chibi-chan =:)  
  
P.S. Chapter Four: "Back To That Same Ol' Place, Sweet Home Filgaia" We learn of Lucca's fate and hopefully a happy ending for Filgaia. Also, more fun in Limbo and Moreau. Ja ne!  
  
All characters are © by their respective owners, so you CAN'T HAVE THEM! Nyah! =p  
  
Note: (Geocitites-) Nyah! Back! Back, foul Geocities ad!  
  
6 Chapter Four: Back to That Same Ol' Place, Sweet Home Filgaia  
  
6.1 A SMALL HOUSE IN LIMBO…  
  
*Rudy is looking through some books while Ramza and Cloud argue*  
  
Rudy: … speech, spelling… ah, here we go, "Spell Casting for Dummies"! *Turns page to "Status Anomaly Spells"*  SILENCE!! *Double helixes of green stars circle around Ramza and Cloud, rendering them unable to speak* Much better. ^_^  
  
6.2 FILGAIA…  
  
The distant past…  
  
*A small lab somewhere outside Court Seim. Out the windows, one can see a battle raging on*  
  
Lucca: *Looking out the window* Uh oh, time to go! *Takes out the remote control device (Remember that? It was in the Prologue…) and pushed a button. She then blinks out of the dimension. Some soldiers (read: Metal Demons) from the battle break through the door*  
  
Carl: What the fu- *One of the Metal Demons (We'll call him Gillberg) stabs Carl through the heart, killing him instantly*  
  
Fred: Oh bugger! *Runs like a coward out the back, leaving the artificial life he had created and was about to awaken behind*  
  
Mage Dhee: ……… *Fades out*  
  
Gillberg: *Looks at the infant-like artificial being* The hell is this? Oh well, the queen said to smash this place up… *Smashes the table it was on, which in turn sent the little life flying out the window to parts unknown*  
  
6.3 The Photosphere…  
  
6.4 *The not-so-distant past…*  
  
Zeikfried: Where is that bumbler?! I need him to do something! *A familiar silhouette can be seen lurking in and out of the shadows*  
  
Alhazard: Seriously, can't you just get up and change the channel yourself?  
  
Lady Harken: Yeah, it's not that hard! You get up, go to the T.V., and push one of these little buttons! *Demonstrates* See?  
  
Ziekfried: That's not the point! He always steals the (&(*& remote to purposely spite me!  
  
Beselk: Hey, Harken, while you're up, could you turn on Fox? "The World's Funniest Transexual Drag Racing Car Crashes 17" will be on any minute!  
  
Lady Harken: No way! I wanna watch "Days of All My Children from Another World Guided by the Bold and the Beautiful and the Young and the Restless Neighbours"! *(Count how many soaps I got in that title! -Chibi)*  
  
Zed: Whoa, try saying that five times fast!  
  
Beselk: Thatthatthatthatthat!  
  
Zed: *Sweatdrop* Um, yeah… Can I watch "Celebrity Deathmatch" now? I wanna see Lucy Lawless tear apart Callista Flockheart!  
  
Zeikfried: No! We are going to watch "South Adlehyde Park" as soon as we get the remote! *Boomerang walks in dragging in a very familiar person. (Elmo: *Ala the Church Lady* Hmm, I wonder who could he be…? Could it be… RUDYrudyrudy?! Chibi: Why not just tell the world, why don't 'cha?! Jeez, ya try to be mysterious and… *Trails off*) He throws the person on the floor in front of the others*  
  
Boomerang: I found him lurking in and out of the shadows.  
  
"Rudy": Ow! You could have just set me down like a normal person, ya know!  
  
Boomerang: … so? Who are you calling a person, anyway? *The familiar person raises his head to look at Boomerang*  
  
"Rudy": Bite me.  
  
Boomerang: That could be arranged…  
  
Zeikfried: Would you hold that off until we get the remote back?  
  
"Rudy": Oh, so you're going into the sewers? I flushed that sucker down the crapper an hour ago!  
  
Zeikfried: WHAT?!?!  
  
"Rudy": You heard me.  
  
Zeikfried: Urge to kill… rising…  
  
Zed: Better run while you can, kid.  
  
"Rudy": Good idea! *Throws down a smoke bomb and disappears*  
  
Alhazard: Well, since we can't get the remote back, why don't we continue with our plans to take over the world?  
  
All: *Ad-lib* Yeah, good idea, I still wanna see… etc.  
  
6.5 THE CITADEL…  
  
First floor…  
  
Chibi: OK, we got two down, one to go!  
  
Elmo: That's good.  
  
Chibi: That is, unless something else goes wrong.  
  
Elmo: It probably will.  
  
Chibi: Until that happens, we're off to Filgaia!  
  
Elmo: Right! *Both blink out of the dimension*  
  
6.6 THE PENTHOUSE IN LIMBO…  
  
Mala-chan: Now, you two know what to do.  
  
Master: Yeah, dude!  
  
Suzi: Like, totally!  
  
Mala-chan: Then go, GO! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *Master and Suzi disappear*  
  
Jenova: You sound like a FF villain again…  
  
Mala-chan: Shush!  
  
Daravon: Gyra famous on Amy! Out poops Sailor Mercury!  
  
Mala-chan: *Sweatdrop* Where the hell did he get those phrases?!  
  
6.7 Elsewhere in Limbo…  
  
Rini: Whew! Am I lucky or what?  
  
Misa: It's only because the boss and her friend were there that you're still alive, ya know.  
  
Rini: *Sweatdrop* I know, I know…  
  
Pansy: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino! Bwahahahahaha!  
  
Misa: Can I hurt her?  
  
Rini: No!  
  
Misa: Aw…  
  
6.8 And yet another place in Limbo…  
  
FBD: Where am I? Damn, that's clichéd… *A random god of Narrative Causiality walks by her* Um, excuse me, Mr…  
  
G. Leon: Magnus. Leon Magnus.  
  
FBD: Yes, Mr. Magnus. Could you please deliver a message to my friends in F.A.N.F.I.C.? They're on a mission and-  
  
G. Leon: I don't see why not, sure.  
  
FBD: Thanks! Now here's the message…  
  
6.9 TERAZZI, AQUAVEIL…  
  
Dycedarg: *huff*puff* Stupid Characters, they even followed me here… Wait a minute! I can leave anytime I want to!  Teleport 2! *Vanishes*  
  
Leon: The hell? He was right… But- but…  
  
Stahn: This is getting weird- *Predictably, Elmo and Chibi fall on Stahn and Karyl* Ouchies…  
  
Karyl: *Weakly* Everyone's a music critic…  
  
Chibi: *Gets up* Aw dammit! We're back here again!  
  
Elmo: *Gets up slowly* At least you didn't land on a guitar with the guitarist still attached!  
  
Karyl: It's a Mandolin.  
  
Elmo: Whatever. Let's just go, OK?  
  
Chibi: Yeah. *Both blink out of the dimension*  
  
Leon: *Sweatdrop* I hate running gags…  
  
Stahn and Karyl: So do we!!  
  
6.10 FLIGAIA AGAIN…  
  
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…  
  
*Elmo and Chibi come into view*  
  
Chibi: I think we're in the right place this time.  
  
Elmo: But are we in the right time?  
  
Chibi: *Notices Lucca, who just came out of a nearby building* I would think we're pretty close, look! *Points at Lucca*  
  
Elmo: Now what?  
  
Chibi: We figure out what went wrong. *A loud explosion comes from the building* The hell?!  
  
Carl: Miss Lucca, your invention just blew up our research! It'll take at least a few months to regain it!  
  
Elmo: Did you hear that?  
  
Chibi: Yeah, and I think I know what to do now… C'mon, we're going a little bit further into the past…  
  
Elmo: Wha- *Both disa- aw, you know!*  
  
*A week earlier, in the lab…*  
  
Lucca: All right, all I gotta do is get the parts and I can rebuild the Mega-Deluxe Time and Space Key- *Chibi and Elmo appear beside her*  
  
Chibi: Hello, Newman…  
  
Lucca: What?  
  
Elmo: *Sweatdrop* Never mind her, we're here to take you back.  
  
Lucca: Good, 'cause I lost my Mega-Deluxe Time and Space Key sometime after I got here and I've been stuck here ever since!  
  
Chibi: Oh. Well, see ya! Elmo, if you will… *Elmo casts a spell, causing Lucca to be sent back to Cephiro* Well, that was easy.  
  
Male voice: Oh, it's gonna be harder than you think it is, dude! *Both Chibi and Elmo turn to face the source of the voice and see two figures, both silhouetted*  
  
Female voice: Like, fer sure! Prepare for trouble!  
  
Male voice: And make it double!  
  
Female: To ensure global devastation!  
  
Male: To divide all people within our nation!  
  
Female: To denounce the evils of truth and love!  
  
Male: To-  
  
Chibi: Yeah, yeah, "Team Rocket! Blast off at the speed of light," get on with it! *Lights turn on, revealing Master and Suzi* The hell? Who're you and why do you have my face?  
  
Elmo: Master… So we meet again!  
  
Master: Yeah, dude! You sent me on a totally bogus trip and I'm ready to pay you back, man!  
  
Suzi: So like, Chibi no baka or something! *Takes out a mallet and clobbers Chibi* Hey, Master, did you check out my MAD SKILLZ? I must be some sort of genius!  
  
Chibi: Ow… It's only funny when I do that! Oh, and don't rip off "Xenogears", OK? Or I'll start summoning Characters!  
  
Suzi: Tsheah, right! Like you can do that!  
  
Chibi: Watch me! I summon Fei Wong! *Instead of the Character, singer Faye Wong appears. Suzi begins laughing hysterically* Not that one! Jeez!  
  
Faye Wong: \What am I doing here?!\  
  
Suzi: Some MAD SKILLZ you have! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Master: Um, dude, you know how to fight?  
  
Elmo: Not to my knowledge… *Sweatdrop*  
  
Master: *Sweatdrop* Neither do I. … wanna watch them scrap?  
  
Elmo: *shrug* Why not? *Both sit down and get popcorn from Hammerspace, waiting for the fight to start*  
  
6.11 SQUARESOFT ARCHIVES…  
  
*Firstborn Dragon appears in a pillar of white light and stars*  
  
FBD: I'm baaaaack! Did anyone miss me? *Notices no one's there* Oh bugger.  
  
BACK TO FILGAIA, SAME BAT TIME, SAME BAT CHANNEL…  
  
6.11.1 Chibi: Um, I summon Bart? *Bart Simpson appears. Suzi laughs even harder*  
  
Bart: Aye carrumba!  
  
Chibi: Um, Maria? *Maria from West Side Story appears*  
  
Maria: But I love him, Anna- huh? Who are you people?  
  
Chibi: Hammer? *The former rapper Hammer appears*  
  
Hammer: Do I get paid for this appearance?  
  
Chibi: Citan? *Instead of Citan, the Japanese version (Shitan) appears*  
  
Shitan: Konnichi wa?  
  
Chibi: Yata! It worked!  
  
Shitan: Nani? No speak English…  
  
Chibi: ARGH!! Never mind, I'll do it myself! *Takes out the mother of all mallets and uses it to pound Suzi into the ground*  
  
Suzi: Ouchies… *Gets up* You, like, really think that a mallet will stop me? Puh-leeze! *Faces her hand palm-out at Chibi, but she sees something is wrong…* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! YOU MADE ME BREAK A NAIL!! Time to pay, you bitch! *Lunges at Chibi. Typical Jerry Springer fight ensues. All the people she summoned sit back and watch the fight with Master and Elmo*  
  
Shitan: \Dude, this is messed up…\  
  
Faye Wong: \You said it, pal.\  
  
Bart: Woooo! Sweet!  
  
Maria: Should I sing now?  
  
Hammer: Do it and die.  
  
Master: Dude, now this is entertainment!  
  
Elmo: GO GET 'ER, CHIBI!! BOOT TO THE HEAD!! CLAW HER EYES OUT!! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!! *With a bang of pink smoke, G. Leon appears*  
  
G. Leon: *cough* Why smoke? Why is it always smoke? *Gawks at the fight* What the hell…?!  
  
Elmo: WOOOO!!  
  
G. Leon: *To Elmo* Could you tell me what's going on here?  
  
Elmo: Chibi broke one of that other girl's nails, so now they're fighting- Hey, aren't you that guy who was chasing Dycedarg?  
  
G. Leon: Yes and no.  
  
Elmo: Yes and no? Does that mean you're a-  
  
G. Leon: Yes, I am.  
  
Elmo: But you're not from Wild ARMs…  
  
G. Leon: Well, that's obvious. You're Uncle Elmo, right?  
  
Elmo: Yeah.  
  
G. Leon: Well, some lady named Firstborn Dragon or something like that asked me to get a message to you and your companion.  
  
Elmo: Huh? What does she want you to tell us?  
  
G. Leon: Let's see… *Thinks for a moment* If I remember correctly, she said that someone's trying to access the Flipside in an attempt to destroy everything and is pulling people from a whole bunch of dimensions while they're at it.  
  
Elmo: Someone's trying to WHAT?!? Chibi, we gotta go!  
  
Chibi: And this *WHACK!* is for laughing at me, and this *SLAP!* is for being a whiny valley girl and- What? Oh, OK. *WHACK!* *They blink out of the dimension, along with most of the summoned characters*  
  
Shitan: \Um, how are we going to get home?\ *Faye shrugs*  
  
Faye: \I'm gonna go see if there's any kind of restaurant or fast food place around here, wanna come with?\  
  
Shitan: \Aw, what the hell?\ *Exits with Faye*  
  
6.12 FIRST FLOOR OF THE CITADEL, CEPHIRO…  
  
*Instead of the normal hustle and bustle of the Citadel and the Archives occurring, the place is decidedly empty and silent. To further illustrate the point, a tumbleweed passes by*  
  
Chibi: The weird is going on here? Where're Bluejay, Ambigore, and the others?  
  
Elmo: This is not good… *Firstborn Dragon enters from the stairwell* Firstborn? What's happening?  
  
FBD: I don't know. There was no one here when I got back from Limbo, either. Did you get my message?  
  
Elmo: Yeah, that's why we came back.  
  
FBD: Who's "we"?  
  
Elmo: Me and Chi- *Finds that Chibi is missing* Where'd she go?  
  
Squaresoft Archives, Aman's Office…  
  
*Chibi is looking over Aman's weapon collection*  
  
Chibi: Let's see, which one will be most useful in smashing that annoying valley girl copy of me into the ground…?  
  
Back to the first floor…  
  
FBD: Anyway, you got any theories on what happened? It can't be that our dimension is falling apart, because you fixed that when you saved Rini.  
  
Elmo: I don't think everyone would have picked up and moved, since everything's still here…  
  
FBD: I checked on the people on the third floor and they haven't done anything to cause this since they got back, so we can cross that off the list. *A ripple of wave energy surges and changes everything to that of a ruined state. However, Firstborn and Elmo are unaffected* Something bad's happened, hasn't it?  
  
Elmo: *Nods* I think someone finally accessed…  
  
A PENTHOUSE IN LIMBO…  
  
*Mala-chan, Jenova, and Daravon stand in front of a Sliders-esque portal*  
  
Mala-chan: -THE FLIPSIDE!! We've done it!  
  
Jenova: *Clearly tired and annoyed* Whaddaya mean "we"?! I did all the work!  
  
Mala-chan: Yeah, but I thought of it and found out about the Flipside!  
  
Daravon: Bread is good! I like bred tat is brad!  
  
Mala and Jenova: Shut up! *A person that looks a lot like Outsider falls out of the portal*  
  
"Outsider": Oh, dear me, where have I gone to?  
  
Mala-chan: Who the hell are you?  
  
"Outsider": My name is Collin, nice to meet you. *Extends his hand*  
  
Mala-chan: Oh bugger, this one's a good double. Back you go! *Picks up Collin and throws him into the portal*  
  
Jenova: Can we close it for now? I'm tired and I know how to open that portal now…  
  
Mala-chan: Go ahead. *The portal vanishes* Be afraid, you little F.A.N.F.I.C. agents, be very afraid! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Jenova: I said to knock that off!  
  
End Chapter Four  
  
"This must be the introduction to the Opposite Sketches!"  
  
-From the 80's show "You Can't Do That on Television"  
  
I dunno, it just fit.  
  
Author to author notes (Delete before posting):  
  
Well, you have plenty of room if you want to add more scenes (Like one that tells the connection to Aerith and Zephyr). Where did everyone go? You get to answer that one. I'm leaving that whole "Flipside" business to you until I can get it figured out myself, 'K?  
  
  
  
Chibi's notes:  
  
Weird? You bet it is! About something in last chapter, Rini's parents are only a god and goddess of Narrative Causiality because they died a while back. In other words, Rini is not a goddess herself. Now back to the present chapter. Master and Suzi were saying a modified version of the Team Rocket motto. The line Suzi stole from Xenogears was originally said by Hammer, which was pretty much the same line she said. I'm pretty sure you can point out the Star Wars ref by yourself. The spells Rudy and Dycedarg said when casting the spells were typed in Symbol font; they say (Rudy's Silence spell) "Silence is golden, show me the money!" and (Dycedarg's Teleport 2 spell) "Space and time, bend to my will!" That "Outsider" bit is an inside joke, as is much of this story. That's all I got for this chapter… (Rudy: Yay!) Except for one thing. You want to see the pic of Rudy in a Sailor Scout dress? The address is- *WHAM!* (Rudy: *Tosses aside a clown hammer* CHIBI NO BAKA!!). Ow, ja ne…  
  
-Chibi-chan =:p  
  
  
  
P.S. Chapter Five "(Insert your own title here, Elmo)" Nifty stuff happens  
  
All characters © to their respective owners. FUNZIES!  
  
Note: Please Buckle up before take off. Spooon!  
  
Side note: o/~ "This" o/~ is singing.  
  
Chapter 5: Fantastic Frolics at the Flipside  
  
The Squaresoft Archives…  
  
7 Elmo: Let's go!  
  
8 FBD: Go where?  
  
Elmo: I… don't know. I think we should go there.  
  
FBD: You're weird, Elmo  
  
Elmo: Now you notice?  
  
FBD: We'd better get Chibi.  
  
Elmo: Chibi? *Chibi appears at the entrance, armed with a sword that'd make Cloud be scared and a large exoskeleton*  
  
Chibi: You rang? Sorry, guys, I had to get myself prepared. What do you think? *Twirls around*  
  
FBD: Chibi, what is that?  
  
Chibi: Oh, the weapons? This is what I need to pummel that valley girl straight into the ground!  
  
Elmo: Don't you think it's a little… excessive?  
  
Chibi: Nope! Shall we go?  
  
Elmo: All right, but leave that fifty-ton exoskeleton here.  
  
Chibi: Aw, no fair! Are you sure? The sword too?  
  
Elmo & FBD: Yes!  
  
8.1 AN Unknown Doman…  
  
*A woman sitting on a throne sucks her fingers*  
  
"Woman": Dammit! That hurt!  
  
Servant Elf: Well, your majesty, it's been a while since you've had to influence a person's thought. He's a fanfic author too.  
  
*(Cloud: It's Elven Girl! *Points at the elf*)*  
  
"Woman": Are you doubting my power, elf?  
  
Elf: No! Not at all!  
  
"Woman": How long will it take for them to get here?  
  
Elf: A few minutes. Now that the great barrier has been breached, convergence will occur.  
  
"Woman": Remind me. Is convergence is a bad thing?  
  
Elf: Well, if you mean, when the walls between the dimensions become much weaker and then all dimensions squeeze into one as a bad thing, then yes.  
  
"Woman": What happens after that?  
  
Elf: This dimension reaches critical mass and eliminates itself.  
  
"Woman": And what happens to me?  
  
Elf: As Ruler of Narrative Causiality, you cease to exist also.  
  
*(Rudy (Elf): And that would suck, now wouldn't it?)*  
  
Ruler of Narrative Causiality: Oh bugger.  
  
8.2 Dimension #234 R & D Labs, Quest Enterprises…  
  
Dr. Ellis Meredith-owen: Eureka! It worked! "Project Slider" really works!  
  
Dr. Jonathan Quest: Where are the specimens you gathered from the alien dimension?  
  
Dr. E.M.O: I've put them with the other failed specimens. It's strange though, we try all this time and then suddenly it works!  
  
Dr. Quest: We need to interview these specimens to see if they're suitable for some… tests.  
  
Dr. E.M.O: I understand.  
  
*(Ramza (Dr. E.M.O.): Nothing, just like Cloud!  
  
Cloud: Hey!)*  
  
8.3 Specimen Warehouse, Quest Enterprises…  
  
9 Ambigore: Where are we?  
  
Aman: No way! This can't be!  
  
Ambigore: What?  
  
Aman: I know this place!  
  
Ambigore: Then tell me!  
  
Aman: We're in Quest Enterprises HQ!  
  
Ambigore: Is that supposed to mean anything?  
  
Aman: I created this place.  
  
Ambigore: I don't see any scantily-clad women here! You've excelled yourself!  
  
Aman: Shut your mouth, boy or they'll be an Ass Whuppin'!  
  
Ambigore: If you created this place, create an exit!  
  
Aman: I can't! This has sorta already happened. Besides, isn't it against protocol?  
  
Ambigore: Screw protocol! Anyway, where's the others?  
  
Aman: Jade split the S.A with Seifer before we were transferred, FBD is with Elmo & Chibi, Trash is…  
  
Trash: GET ME OUT OF HERE! *Aman shouts across the lab*  
  
Aman: Hey! What's up! *Trash points to the other occupants of the cell*  
  
Trash: They're the matter!  
  
Donnie: Hey! Why don't we sing you a song!  
  
Marie: Yeah! *Singing* o/~ I'm a long haired lover from Liverpool… o/~  
  
Trash: NOOOO! PLEASE HELP!  
  
Aman: This is great! We're stuck in an alien dimension with the Osmonds….  
  
Ambigore: Could be worse, Hanson could be here.  
  
Hanson: o/~ "Mmmmm Bop!" o/~  
  
Aman: Spoke too soon, dufus!  
  
Hankona: \How dare they boot me off that satellite?! I was the only funny one there!\  
  
Pikachu: Pika Pi?  
  
Aman: What did that little yeller kumquat say?  
  
Ambigore: He's asking us if we're from Dimension #101. *Ambigore turns to Pikachu*  
  
Ambigore: Yes, we're F.A.N.F.I.C Agents.  
  
Pikachu: Pika Pika, Pikachu!.  
  
Ambigore: Pikachu says that the walls between dimensions have become weakened so SLIDER could be a success. What's Slider?  
  
Aman: Wait a minute, you understand all that?  
  
Ambigore: I'm Australian. If I can understand Skippy, I can understand him.  
  
Aman: Oh. Slider is a project designed to make interdimensional travel possible.  
  
Ambigore: How do you know that?  
  
Aman: I thought it up, dufus!  
  
Ambigore: Oh yeah. Well, can you tell us how to get out of here?  
  
9.1.1.1.1.1 Aman: Um, no…  
  
Ambigore: Oh bugger…  
  
9.1.2 Somewhere in Limbo…  
  
10 Rini: They'll never get to Midgar at this rate!  
  
Misa: I heard she's got involved…  
  
Rini: You don't mean….  
  
Misa: Yep, I mean…  
  
Rini: The Ruler of Narrative Causiality herself!  
  
Misa: This is BIG!  
  
Rini: No kidding. Don'tcha think we'd better warn her?  
  
Misa: Who?  
  
Rini: The boss.  
  
Misa: What about her companions? Elmo did help to get you off the hook.  
  
Rini: *Shrugs* So?  
  
Misa: You haven't got a grateful bone in your body.  
  
Rini: Yeah, and I'm damn proud of it too! *Pushes a stray piece of hair behind her ear haugtily*  
  
Misa: Hoo boy!  
  
Pansy: Someone mention Elmo? When are we going on vacation? Holiday! Holiday!  
  
Rini: Shut up!  
  
Pansy: Tee hee! :P  
  
Misa: *Sweatdrop* I give up…  
  
10.1.1.1 Elsewhere in Limbo…  
  
Rudy: Are we even in this fic anymore?!  
  
Cloud: I thought you'd be happy, seeing as you whine about crossovers all the time!  
  
SD Ramza: Ssssh! Don't talk about them or we'll… *Notice the writer* Oh crap! Now see what you've done? Now she's writing a scene with us!  
  
SD Rudy: Me and my big mouth…  
  
Cloud: I'm bored. Anyone got any ideas?  
  
Ramza: We could always destroy the fourth wall and MST this fic! *CRASH!*  
  
Rudy: Good idea! I just happen to have some of the chapters on me…  
  
On a Yellow Brick Road….  
  
Firstborn Dragon: Elmo? Do you know where the hell you're going?  
  
Elmo: Just a little further…  
  
FBD: You said that ages ago!  
  
Chibi: Say it again, Elmo, and you'll be scooping your insides off the road with a spatula, understand? *They see a middle aged man run towards them *  
  
Man: Chhhheerryyyyllll! *He notices the group and stops to ask them*  
  
*(Ramza: Ask them what? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?  
  
Cloud: Where is Furinkan High School?  
  
Rudy: Is Misa wearing any underwear? *WHAM!* Ow!)*  
  
Man: Have you seen my daughter Cheryl? About four foot two, possessed by a demon that sort of thing…?  
  
FBD: You mean Chibi?  
  
*(Rudy: You know what? I think I found a favorite character! *grin*)*  
  
Chibi: Hey! One, I'm not possesed, and two, I'm taller than that!  
  
Elmo: Can't say I have, sorry! *The man runs on, unperturbed*  
  
Elmo: Why did he seem so familiar?  
  
10.2 The Palace of Narrative Causiality – Limbo…  
  
Ruler of Narrative Causiality: Soon, soon, my dear Elmo, you shall meet your… destiny! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! *She turns to her assistant*  
  
*(Cloud: His Tales of Destiny?  
  
Ramza: That was bad, Cloud.)*  
  
Ruler: Like that? It wasn't too dramatic was it?  
  
Assistant: No! Of course not.  
  
Ruler: I mean the maniacal laugh. It wasn't over the top or anything?  
  
*(Ramza: Not bad, considering it was Mala-chan's!  
  
Rudy: *shudder* Don't remind of her!)*  
  
Assistant: Maybe just a little….  
  
Ruler: Hmm, it's been a while since I've played the mysterious female character; perhaps I need more practice…  
  
*(Rudy: With what, I'm not commenting on…  
  
Ramza: Rudy!)*  
  
A Penthouse in Limbo…  
  
*The portal to the Flipside opens with a pop. A small female escapes out of it*  
  
Daravon: A winner is you! Not press Start Button to continue! Hooray Hooray for the Spinster's Daughter! *The Figure looks at Daravon quizzically and then speaks*  
  
Figure: Pleased to meet you. My name is Jenova Dromidae. Although I do not yet know you, I am already your friend. May you all be blessed with my power…  
  
*(Grahf: Dost thou seeketh the power? No? Oh bugger…)*  
  
Daravon: Oh bugger!  
  
Quest Enterprises HQ Interrogation Room #1…  
  
Hallman: What is the name of the Planet you come from?  
  
Ambigore: Earth.  
  
Hallman: Don't lie! This is Earth! Do you know Shinra? Are you working for them?  
  
Ambigore: I'm a… President! You'll be sorry!  
  
Hallman: President of what?  
  
*(Rudy (Ambigore): *snicker* The President of Looooove!  
  
Cloud: Thank you for that lovely image, kid.)*  
  
Ambigore: A… Republic! That's it!  
  
Hallman: Why do I not believe you? Come on Doctor, we know you defected to Avalanche several years ago now. Where is there Hideout?  
  
Ambigore: Sector 7?  
  
Hallman: Don't toy with me Dr. La Coste!  
  
Ambigore: I don't know what you're talking about? *The secretary, Susan Shade, comes into the Interrogation Room and whispers in Hallman's ear*  
  
Hallman: I see? Well, my…"Ambigore", it seems that interviews with your companion seem much more useful… Good day!  
  
Ambigore: Chibi? Is that you? Tel these people what happened! Tell them about Narrative Causiality!  
  
*(Rudy: It sucks wet weasels.  
  
Ramza: Rudy!  
  
Rudy: It does! *WHAM!* Ow…)*  
  
Hallman: Ms. Shade? Do you know this person?  
  
Susan: Dr. La Coste left the staff before I joined. I don't know what he's talking about.  
  
Hallman: very well, take him to Dr. Meredith-Owen's lab.  
  
Ambigore: Why doesn't that sound like a good thing?  
  
Interrogation Room #2…  
  
*A Crowd of people have gathered around the tied up Aman*  
  
Aman: And you? Hmm… Your name is Professor Gerald Plum, you wear your wife's underwear in bed and like eating nachos… *Dr. Meredith-Owen approaches Hallman, who's just entered. The Doctor pushed his glasses off his nose*  
  
Dr. M-O: It's extraordinary! He seems to know everything about everyone! Perhaps Slider develops some latent psychic abilities? Perhaps it stimulates the hippocampus to almost undreamed of levels?  
  
Hallman: Spare me the scientific mumbo jumbo! Does he know where Avalanche's hideout is?  
  
Dr: M-O: He claims he does. He says he created this entire reality.  
  
Hallman: And you believe him?  
  
Dr M-O: Well, the theory of "Narrative Causiality" was one of my early theses before I decided to concentrate on Mako research.  
  
Hallman: Stop! Did he tell you where the Hideout was?  
  
Dr:M-O: No, he wants to speak to Dr. Quest.  
  
Hallman: Jonathan?  
  
Dr M-O: No, Jessica. He was very… explicit when it came to that.  
  
Hallman: What do you mean?  
  
Dr M-O: He said, and I quote, "Bring that babe to me. Her red underwear is very hot! I bet she's wearing it today!"  
  
Hallman: Let me deal with it.  
  
Dr M-O: And another thing, he knows about Elena, Michael, everything!  
  
Hallman: This'll be interesting…  
  
Inside Limbo…  
  
*A large palatial structure*  
  
Elmo: We're here!  
  
Chibi: Great… I think. It's strange her; it looks like "Organized Chaos"…  
  
Firstborn Dragon: That's an oxymoron.  
  
Elmo: Who's calling me a moron? *WHAM*  
  
*(*Rudy, Ramza, and Cloud raise their hands*  
  
Rudy: That goes double for Chibi! *WHAM!* Where the hell are those mallets coming from?!)*  
  
Chibi: *Putting her mallet away* Let's go…  
  
FBD: Where are we again? *A little elf appears*  
  
Chibi: Who are you? Some sort of mascot? Or are you a Keebler Elf? (Mmm, cookies…)  
  
Elf: I ain't no mascot, lady! You are in the domain of… the Ruler of Narrative Causiality……  
  
Elmo: Oh bugger! This is bad!  
  
Chibi: Something you haven't told us about Narrative Causiality, Elmo?  
  
Elmo: Sort of. I never thought she would get involved.  
  
FBD: Can someone wake me when this is all over?  
  
Elf: Behold! The Queen of Narrative Causiality!  
  
Elmo: But my name isn't beh… *WHAM!*  
  
Chbi: That's my Pun! One I wanted to use in the MSTing of this fic, but now you've spoiled it now!  
  
*(Rudy: Thanks, Elmo!  
  
Ramza: Saves us the trouble!)*  
  
*The Queen steps into the room and sits in an empty throne*  
  
Queen: Well?  
  
Elmo: Well what?  
  
Chibi: It's a thing for drawing water out of… *rimshot*  
  
Queen: Aren't you going to bow?  
  
Chibi: I ain't gonna bow for anybody, lady! Would you kindly tell me who the hell you are?  
  
Queen: You haven't told them, Elmo? Shame on you!  
  
Elmo: Sorry!  
  
Chibi; What, is she your illicit lover? *evil grin*  
  
Elmo: WHAT?!? NO!  
  
Queen: I am the Queen, ruler of Narrative Causiality.  
  
Chibi: Is that it? I thought you were someone important.  
  
Queen: Silence, infidel!  
  
Chibi: Bite me. I can have a pack of satellite-dwelling RPG characters-  
  
Elmo: Chibi! Shush!  
  
FBD: Wait, I thought Narrative Causiality was run by the gods and goddesses… *The Queen laughs*  
  
Queen: You fool! Who tells the gods and goddesses what to do?  
  
Chibi: *Whispers* Well, Elmo and I do actu-  
  
Elmo: Shush! She might hear.  
  
Chibi: So?  
  
Queen: I was given this job a few hundred years ago…  
  
Chibi: Wait a minute… YOU! You took that job from me!  
  
Queen: *Sweatdrop* Uh, no?  
  
Chibi; I thought I had the job wrapped up, but nooooo! They gave it to you! I got stuck with Rini instead of being the queen! I'll… I'll… *KABONG!* Ow!  
  
El Kabong: KABONG!  
  
*(All: O.o  
  
Rudy: If that's not the stupidest thing…)*  
  
Queen: I see you've met my bodyguard, El Kabong.  
  
Chibi: Ow… He didn't have to hit me so hard…  
  
Elmo: So why have you called us here? I never thought you'd summon me again.  
  
Queen: How long was it since I saw you last?  
  
Elmo: 25 years, since the Christening.  
  
Queen: How is your little Aerith? It's been a while….  
  
Elmo: Well…  
  
Chibi: Can we have the cozy family chat later?! Can you tell us why we're here? The whole Multiverse is at stake!  
  
Queen: *sigh* I suppose so, you have to go and save the world, don't you? Isn't that original?  
  
*(Cloud: Tells us about it.)*  
  
*Elmo and Chibi shrug*  
  
Queen: OK, I really brought you here to give you a clue.  
  
Elmo: Is that an animal, vegetable, or mineral?  
  
Queen: Elmo, come here. *Elmo edges nearer to the Queen. The Queen whispers in Elmo's ear and knees Elmo in the groin. Chibi and FBD wince*  
  
Elmo: With a six-foot pole and axle grease?  
  
*(Rudy: Wow, kinky- *WHAM!* That's it! Just who the hell keep hitting me with that mallet?!  
  
Rini: Who do ya think, you hentai?! Argh, if I didn't have something to do, I'd really hurt ya! *Goes through a portal and vanishes*  
  
Rudy: Wow, must be "that time of the month" for her! *KABONG!* Ow!)*  
  
Queen: Just don't make any more cheap puns, all right? Remember, Elmo, I can do things that make Ms. Bobbit seem merciful! Capiche? *Elmo nods*  
  
Chibi: Hmm, now I know why I didn't kick thine rear; I liked your style!  
  
Elmo: help me!  
  
Queen: As I was saying, it looks like you need some help. At this rate, the Multiverse will be destroyed until you find the rift to the Flipside. Well, I won't tell you where it is.  
  
Elmo: Why not? What's the point in that?  
  
Queen: Where would all the fun be? I mean, "The Queen tells them where the rift is, they close it the end" Isn't really fun now isn't it? What I will tell you is that to find the perpetrators you must go to where it all began…  
  
Elmo: What does that mean?  
  
Queen: You must travel the Path of the Ancient to find your place.  
  
Elmo: Eh?  
  
Queen: Look! Go to bloody Midgar, all right! You'll find the answer there!  
  
Elmo: Thanks! We'd better get going then! *Chibi, Firstborn, and Elmo turn to leave*  
  
Queen: Oh, and Elmo.  
  
Elmo: What?  
  
Queen: Remember what I said about the axle grease! *Elmo shudders*  
  
10.2.1.1 Quest Enterprises Interrogation Room #2…  
  
Hallman: Do you know where Avalanche's hideout is?  
  
Aman: Yep! Neeext!  
  
Hallman: Don't toy with me!  
  
Aman: Why, are you gonna kill me just like your wife?  
  
Hallman: How do you know about that?  
  
Aman: I know EVERYTHING! I know that you drink black coffee with five sugars every morning, that you like wearing boxer shorts, that you have at least five handguns on you right now that you….  
  
Hallman: Enough of this madness. Let's put it simple to you. Give me the address of the hideout or I'll kill you.  
  
Aman: Kill me and you'll never know.  
  
11 Hallman: Why are you so damn anoying?  
  
Aman: Because I know exactly what you're thinking.  
  
Hallman: I've had enough. Take him away, guards. We'll execute him and Dr. La Coste tomorrow morning.  
  
Aman: Oh bugger.  
  
11.1.1.1 Later that night…  
  
Ambigore: We're doomed. DOOMED!  
  
Aman: Shut up! You're sounding like Elmo! *A slight noise is heard*  
  
Ambigore: Who's that? *The figure takes off her mask*  
  
Ambigore: Chibi?  
  
Aman: Ms. Susan Shade, I presume?  
  
Susan: Pleased to make your acquaintance. Now we have to get you out of here.  
  
Aman: We can't! We have to get back to our own dimension.  
  
Susan: Then you'll have to go to the R&D Labs. I'm sorry, I can't help you.  
  
12 Aman: Oh, tell Dawny I said hi! And watch your neck!  
  
Ambigore: Don't you mean back?  
  
Aman: I know what I mean.  
  
Ambigore: Which way now?  
  
Aman: Easy, follow me.  
  
Trash: What about me?  
  
Aman: Don't you worry! We'll come back for you… sorta.  
  
Trash: What do you mean? *Aman shrugs and both friends escape. 10 minutes later, they've reached the R & D labs*  
  
Ambigore: That's incredible, the way you attacked the guard.  
  
Aman: Shut your trap and press that button.  
  
Ambigore: Which one?  
  
Aman: The one that says "Do Not Press" on it.  
  
Ambigore: Oh, well that's a really effective security measure, isn't it?  
  
Aman: Really? I thought of it myself, you know!  
  
Ambigore: *mumbles* You'd never have guessed.  
  
Aman: What did you say?  
  
Ambigore: I'm impressed!  
  
Aman: Well, what are you waiting for? Press the damn button!  
  
Ambigore: Here goes. *He presses the button*  
  
Aman: You did check the exit co-ordinates did you?  
  
Ambigore: The exit what?  
  
Aman: Oh bugger!  
  
*(Cloud: 2 to 1 they wind up in Aquaveil.  
  
Rudy: You're on!)*  
  
12.1 Midgar…  
  
Elmo: Well? Where's this answer?  
  
Chibi: Why don't we look for a large rift in the fabric of Space-Time?  
  
FBD: Would this rift look like a large blue wibbly thing in space?  
  
Elmo: A bit like that then, yes.  
  
FBD: You mean like THAT large wibbly thing in space? *Firstborn points to the Shinra Building*  
  
Elmo: Yep! That's it. Let's go!  
  
Suzi: Not so fast! Prepare for trouble!  
  
Master: And make it double!  
  
Chibi: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've had that gag already.  
  
Elmo: Go, Pikachu!  
  
Chibi: Elmo, you don't have a Pikachu!  
  
Elmo: Oh. Go, Charmander!  
  
Chibi: Elmo, you're not a Pokemon Trainer!  
  
Elmo: Why didn't you add that bit in "Spell Casting for Dummies?" *Chibi shrugs*  
  
Master: Enough of this, we're totally gonna kill you now!  
  
Suzi: Yah, and we're totally gonna enjoy it, too!  
  
FBD: Oh joy, now I'm in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey!  
  
Chibi: I've had enough of this! If you want a piece of me, valley girl, come and get me!  
  
Elmo: Master, I have in my hand Bolt 3. It's the most powerful Lightning Elemental in the known Multiverse.  
  
*(Ramza: Is not! There's Bolt 4!  
  
Rudy: And Hi-Spark!  
  
Cloud: And Holy Wrath!)*  
  
Elmo: Now the question you're asking yourself is, "Does he have enough MP to cast it?" Well, I'm gonna ask you, do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?  
  
Firstborn: Well, I'll just sit here and wait for you to finish,seeing as there's nothing else to do… *Rini, Misa and Pansy appear*  
  
Rini: I'm here to tell the boss to go to Midga… Who the hell is that other girl?  
  
Firstborn: Beats me. This plot has confused me enough already.  
  
*(Ramza: Plot? What plot? *KABONG!* Ow!  
  
El Kabong: KABONG!)*  
  
Pansy: Two Elmos? Yaaay! One for weekdays and one for weekends!  
  
Elmo and Master: Eh?  
  
Misa: Hoo boy, this is gonna get complicated.  
  
Rini: … I want my momma…  
  
12.2 FF8 Continuity…  
  
Jade Weapon: The way you kill this feline rearhead, Seifer is you take aim and… *Aman and Ambigore fall out of a vortex*  
  
*(Cloud: ………  
  
Rudy: I was right. Pay up, Cloud!)*  
  
J.W: Go away, stupid rearhead! Me on vacation! Go away!  
  
Aman: Where the hell are we?  
  
Jade: FF8 dimension, stupid rearhead! Now get out of here before I kick your rearholes! *Aman notices Ambigore has his eyes squeezed shut*  
  
Aman: The hell are you doing?  
  
Ambigore: Don't want to cause a spoiler!  
  
Jade: I've had enough of your bull rears! Go away, stupid! I tell you three times!  
  
*(Cloud: Insert Monty Python and the Holy Grail joke of your choice here.)*  
  
Aman: Umm….  
  
Jade: What?  
  
Ambigore: We don't have any MP.  
  
Jade: Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! What you do without me huh? *Jade waves her hands and they're gone*  
  
Jade: Now, Seifer, you take aim and…  
  
12.3 The Penthouse in Limbo…  
  
Jenova: I don't care what you say, Mala-chan, Jerry is the KING of the chat show circuit.  
  
Mala-chan: Geraldo is a GOD! I mean his charm, his intelligence!  
  
*(Ramza (Mala-chan): His body hair…)*  
  
Daravon: Jet Baby Flies! Signal to the left! Go, go, Power rangers!  
  
Jenova: What's got you so upset?  
  
Mala-chan: Um, Jenova, look! *Points at the other Jenova*  
  
Jenova Dromidae: Ah, new friends! Don't worry, even though I don't know you, you will be blessed with my power… Would you like a cup of tea?  
  
Jenova: I don't get it! Who opened the portal?  
  
Mala-chan: I don't know but *POP* *Two figures appear from the Portal*  
  
Figure 1: We're looking for an Uncle Elmo and Chibi-chan.  
  
Jenova: Who the hell are you? What are you doing here?  
  
Figure2 : Hold your tongue! We might spare your lives, if we feel like it that is.  
  
Figure1: Since we're feeling charitable, we won't kill you straight away. We're from CIFNAF. Our task is to destroy Narrative Causiality, especially these two.  
  
*(Rudy: Yes! Kill 'em! Hurt 'em! Maybe even push them down!  
  
Ramza and Cloud: *Sweatdrop* ………)*  
  
Jenova: Great! It looks like we're on the same side. What are your names?  
  
Figure 2: Names are not important! You should be grateful we don't kill you.  
  
Figure 1: Don't be so uptight! It won't hurt them to know our names before we annihilate their compatriots. May I introduce myself? My name is Elmo and this is Chibi.  
  
Evil Chibi: … and now we'll have to kill you.  
  
Evil Elmo: Soon! I apologise for the… over-eagerness of my partner here, but she hasn't killed anyone in nearly three hours now. I'm sure you understand.  
  
*Jenova and Mala-chan nod*  
  
Evil Elmo: Old Aunt Aerith never prepared me for this, Interdimensional travel… Anyway, as you were saying, tell us where we can find these two and we'll make your demise quick and painless… sort of. I might let Chibi use the sharp end this time.  
  
Evil Chibi: Aw!  
  
Jenova Dromidae: More friends! Even though I do not know you, you will be bless… *BANG*  
  
Evil Elmo: Dammit, Chibi! Get a mop and bucket!  
  
Evil Chibi: She was pissing me off!  
  
Evil Elmo: Next time, blow her head off outside, all right?  
  
Mala-chan, Jenova, and Daravon: Oh bugger.  
  
12.4 *  
  
12.4.1.1.1 End Chapter Five  
  
"When life gives you lemons, send 'em to satellite dwelling RPG characters and make 'em funny!"  
  
-Uh, me, actually…  
  
Elmo's Notes –  
  
Oooh Complicated isn't it? Well this chapter is chock-a-block full of In-Jokes. That whole Aman/Ambigore thread is from a fanfic known as "A Ticketr to Slide" written by me as a Prequel to another fic "Don't Look Back" by…Aman! . You don't really need to know that but…what the hell. You all know about Midgar right? You haven't been paying attention haven't you? Read the last few chapters again! The Queen of Narrative Causiality has been a character I've been wanting to introduce since "Twisted" but I've never gotten round to it. Anyway until next time… Hwyl!  
  
Chibi's notes:  
  
Heh, more grammar and spell-checking FUNZIES! (Rudy: Fear.) Shush, you! I didn't really do much here, just threw some lines in here and there, spell check, added the side comments from Limbo, etc. (Ramza: SO now we all hate you, instead of just Rudy. El Kabong: KABONG! *KABONG!*) Think it's weird now? Fear not, tho' it be madness, there be method in it! At least, I hope so…  
  
-Chibi-chan =:)  
  
P.S. Chapter 6: "Name Deleted to Drive You Nuts" Things happen, apparently. Chibi and Elmo verses… Chibi and Elmo?! Plus, we meet Evil Rini, and finally learn the names of Rini's parents! Ja ne for now!  
  
All characters © their respective owners. Pay us enough and we might reconsider. (Chibi: ELMO!) 


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